It’s 3:04 am on Friday and I am at work writing this post.
Did you know that I work nights?
12 hours at a time?
Yes, I “only” work 3 nights a week, but honey let me tell you, those are the toughest three nights of my life.
You see, when you work nights, you spend the day before dreading/anticipating. And the day after in a coma.
I used to be able to wake up at 1 pm the night after I worked( if I didn’t have to work again that night) and do things.
Have a life.
Now, I’m lucky if I manage to shower, pick up Pookah, and get something on the table for dinner before I pass out again as soon as Pookah goes to sleep.
Needless to say, life has suffered.
I am BEYOND exhausted.
I have no energy.
I have no interest in anything but when can I sleep. Or lay down, or nap or just….
My Life is suffering. My blog, my photography, my relationship with my husband, my health, my fitness, my home.
My temper is shorter. I find myself snapping at Pookah when I used to have patience.
C-Dub and I don’t really talk. It’s like we are two ships passing in the night and when we are together, all I want to do is sleep. I cried the other night when he was trying sooo hard to create a little romance and in my head all I wanted him to do was leave me alone so I could sleep.
I’m not eating well. I swear, Wednesday after I worked, I ate a container of yogurt…..and that was it. I was hungry around 9 after I put Pookah to bed, but by the time I realized it, I was in bed and couldn’t muster the energy to get out of bed, go downstairs and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I think I might be slightly depressed.
I need to get off of night shift.
I talked to my manager a couple of weeks ago, and she said most “likely” I will be able to go to day shift in June.
That’s 3 months away.
That’s 63 days from now.
I don’t know if I can survive 63 more days.
Because I am beyond exhausted.