So I’ve been thinking of not writing this post for so long that no other posts want to be written until this one is off of my mind.
Here’s the deal.
About 6 months ago, I took out my IUD. I’m 37, Pookah was 3 almost 4. If I was even thinking about having another one, the time was ripe. IT WAS TIME. So I convinced myself. My ovaries were twitching and I had this anxious feeling around babies.
But nothing happened.
Each month, I have watched as my period came and went, came and went, and came and went again.
I’ve endured all the questions, the teasing, the jabs. Even though folks didn’t really know we were” trying”. And just a side note, “trying” to get pregnant is not nearly as easy and fun as folks make it out to be when it doesn’t happen.
I gave my standard answers:
“Do you know how EXPENSIVE Pookah is?”
“Pookah doesn’t need a playmate, he’s got me.”
What I really want to say is: yes, I want Pookah to have a sibling, yes, we’re trying and my body isn’t cooperating, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL OF THE OTHER THINGS ABOUT IT?
I’ve been trying to be patient. After all, it took a year and a miscarriage before I got pregnant with Pookah. So why would this time be any different? Because I’m 4 years older and so are my eggs. And no matter what the celebrity magazines tell you, women my age don’t get pregnant easily.
I haven’t wanted to write about this because I didn’t want the are you pregnant yet questions. I didn’t want to open up the floodgates on this blog about this struggle/journey/time/whatever it is.
But me being me, it was killing me not to share.
OK that’ s all.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming.