So, Monday’s are usually all about ME and what I’m doing to better ME.
Well, since I’m a Mommy, My Life isn’t always about ME.
And so today, Pookah has hijacked this post.
And made it all about him.
This is my “normal” child:happy to meet new kids, center of attention, go get em Pookah
On most days, Pookah is fine when I drop him off at daycare. He is never happy happy joy joy, but he usually warms up and I feel comfortable when I leave him as he blows me kisses goodbye.
But lately, that has been missing.
First, I started to notice that he just stood there when I dropped him off. He was slow to warm up, slow to join the crowd, and he was NEVER smiling. The teacher would get him and lead him over to the circle, and he would look back at me with such a forlorn look! But I thought, he’s just sad about me leaving. He’ll be OK. A little separation anxiety. And I was right: he was fine. By the time I picked him up, he would be my happy happy Pookah. An eager to go Pookah, but happy none the less.
But today was different. He was fine until we got to the lunch room where they were all having breakfast. I led him to a chair and sat him down. He wouldn’t take off his hat, kept handing it back to me and just stood there with his arms up for me to pick him up.
I sat him back down in the chair, and proceeded to talk to the teacher about what was for lunch that day.
I peeked down at Pookah and he had a strange look on his face. I leaned down close to him to ask what’s wrong and he was moaning. Softly. Almost inaudibly.
I was startled. I tried to kiss a smile out of him, but he continued to moan softly. I kissed him a couple of more times and hugged him and waved goodbye.
He didn’t wave back.
He was back to normal by then, more interested in the applesauce on the plate than me.
And not moaning anymore.
But it bothered me.
It bothered me the short five minute ride to Subway, and the short ride home.
It’s bothering me right now.
I want to go back and snatch him up and bring him home.
I want to go spy on them to find out why my baby was moaning and had that look on his face.
Why my very happy talkative child turned into a mute moaner this morning as soon as I dropped him off.
Was it a fluke?
Was it just one of those things?
When I pick him up, will he be his normal happy self?
Will I get a report that he was “aggressive” at school today?
I don’t know what to do.
I’m so exhausted right now from working last night, but I want to go back and get my baby.
I don’t know what to do!
I don’t know what to do.