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When Potty Training Goes Wrong

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Do you see this face?

This is MY baby. My son. My life.

And his school is f***ing up everything.

It’s dawned on me in the last two weeks that my child has changed. At first, I thought, wow, he is growing up, he is maturing so fast in his new class. Wow. I should stop worrying so much.

Well.

Yesterday morning, Pookah told me he had to potty. Yay! I thought in my head!

We got there, the boy is HOLDING his penis in his hands( might be TMI for some of you but bear with me) and won’t go.

I mean he cried, he screamed, he shook his head back and forth, refusing to step up to the toliet and pee.

WTH???

I was confused. He obviously had to go, but wouldn’t.

I pushed it off and just put a pull up on and dressed him.

I did notice that he asked

“we go to school?”

“Yes, we’re going to see Sister P.”

He was quiet.

He ate breakfast, seemed to cheer up.

We walked in hand and hand, he gave me a kiss and then we entered the classroom.

Sister P asks if Pookah had gone to the bathroom this morning. No, we tried, but he didn’t go, I explained.

She tells him to go to the bathroom.

He BURSTS out into hysterical tears.

Oooookaaaaay.

There my friends, lies my problem.

I think that now that SHE has put so much empasis on it, he doesn’t want to go!

What am I going to do?????

I had noticed his aversion to going to the potty in the last few days, but I had been ignoring it. But something is wrong.

Sigh.

I don’t know what to do. *cries silent tears*

Advice????

bethany actually

Friday 15th of June 2012

You know, it's entirely possible that the teacher is doing everything exactly "right" and he is still just experiencing anxiety because of something else that's happening in his life, something at school, something another kid said to him, something on TV...kids are weird. :-) It could be anything!

I have good friends whose 3YO, M, was completely potty-trained, and then after their second daughter was born two months premature, there were a few months there where mom and dad were preoccupied with caring for their new baby's needs, and M was often with grandparents or friends. Not long after her sister was born, M started having issues with pooping her pants. She actually had to leave her preschool because she kept doing it. Her parents were frustrated and tried everything they could think of or read about. Finally, a pediatrician told them that they should just take the pressure completely off. Let M wear pull-ups and continue to ask her if she needed to use the potty, and praise her when she did, but if she went in her pull-up just change her without criticism or getting upset about it. Basically, just don't react to the times she went in the pull-up at all but make a BIG deal about going in the potty.

About two weeks after they started that tactic, nine months after the problems started, M was back to completely using the potty all the time and almost never had accidents again.

Good luck!

Bernetta

Friday 8th of June 2012

This is tough one, but you just have to be consistent with your instructions and make him feel comfortable about it. And when he is read he will do it. But you do need to know how they are approaching the subject at school. It should be a group effort. What do you think?

vablondie

Thursday 7th of June 2012

I agree that you should (tactfully) tell your child's teacher to back off. (I doubt I would be able to be tactful about it if I was in your situation!)

I am not looking forward to potty training. I am going to move in the next couple of months, so I am not even trying to attempt potty training until after the move, because I know that he is going to regress. Also, boys seem to potty train later than girls. I know that he is not going to go to college in diapers. I also feel that it is better to start later rather than earlier.

Good luck, with whatever happens!

Natalie

Thursday 7th of June 2012

Poor little guy :( I am dreading the potty training days. I have no advice since my boy is too young but I hope you find the solution. I hate that he is so scared b/c they pushed him too far too fast. Thanks for stopping by my blog from SITS!

Christina

Thursday 7th of June 2012

I have no advice, but I really hope that you're able to get some type of resolution to this!