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Winning with help

My weekend was AWESOME

I read back on my posts and realize that it’s very rare that I ever post that thought.

Sad.

Anyhoo, my mother and father came to visit this weekend. Why? Well, New Edition was in town and I planned MONTHS in advance so someone could be here so that C-Dub and I could go.  MONTHS.

So anyway, we left Pookah in the capable hands of my parents with explicit instructions from me( ummm yeah, my mother just gave me the look).  And off we went.

Luckily for us, the amphitheater was right around the corner from the house.  Literally: you come off of our street, make 4 lefts and we were there. 5 minutes people.  And we beat all of that traffic because we knew about the back entrance.

It was a BEAUTIFUL evening.

PERFECT weather.

I looked cute( if I say so myself)

He looked handsome. 🙂

AdobePhotoshopExpress_20120519144342

We got off to a rocky start. Maybe because we just don’t get to spend any alone time anymore. And if we do, its a few rushed moments after putting the boy to sleep.

So, it’s hard you know to come back from weeks, no MONTHS of having hi and bye and dinner is on the table conversations.

So, we started out bickering a little as usual. But as the eveing went on, and the music played and we people watched and I saw a few other married couples with kids that we know, I got to thinking.

Other folks do this sort of thing all the time.

I mean, look at my friend:

She is a obstetrician.  She has two boys ( age 3 and 6).  She is on call one or two nights a week, works in the office and still manages to

  • stay in shape
  • look good
  • and go out consistently with her husband

Now, I know for a fact that her parents are still in Lousianna. I know that his visit occasionally. So they are like me and C-Dub…they have no family help in the area. But they have managed, somehow to get a newtwork of folks togethter so that when it’s time for them to go out, they do it. She goes on girls trips, he goes on guys trips..they go on trips together…without the kids…

I realized that our life is not much different from theirs.  So why can they make it work and we can’t?

Hmmmm

Where there is a will there is a way.  Just like I plotted and planned for the night out with New Edition, why can’t I plot and plan out for an occaional night out? An occasional date night once a month at least where the child can eat, play and sleep with someone else?

I don’t know.

But Friday was one of the best date nights we have ever had. The music, the atmosphere, the conversation, the laughter.

I felt…normal….

 

  • Reply
    adrienne
    May 21, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad you had a great time!!! Prayerfully you guys can do that more often 🙂
    adrienne recently posted..Hump Day RamblingsMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      me too! It’s so hard, and while I say now that we will do it more often, it’s so hard!

  • Reply
    Kita
    May 21, 2012 at 8:21 am

    So happy for you yes most people have a network of help. I use to have a neighbor a few years ago before I had my daughter we would give each other one day a week where we kept each others kids. On that one day I would plan everything for me a relaxing day getting my hair done, then my feet, then maybe a lunch date or something. Then we would alternate 1 weekend every month to go on a date night with our husbands. She moved and I almost cried because we had a system. How I wish I could get that back but planning does help.
    Kita recently posted..Weekend Wrap upMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:12 pm

      I wish I trusted ANY of my neighbors! I wish. There is a nice/our age looking couple with a four year old that just moved across the street. I need to go and make friends

  • Reply
    Veronica
    May 21, 2012 at 8:25 am

    I’m so happy for you. You both deserve this. You can do it. Just take baby steps. It’ll get easier. Also I’m totally talking jive because K and I rarely go out but when we do we go OUT. My mom arrives next Friday so we are out of here! But ya it’s hard but good for you guys for taking that step.
    Veronica recently posted..Dear Ms. Easily OffendedMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm

      baby steps. baby steps…( I keep repeating this to myself)

  • Reply
    Smart & Sassy Mom
    May 21, 2012 at 10:53 am

    I felt like I was reading about myself. We have no family, just a few friends in the area and we live in a “ships passing in the night” type of atmosphere. But date night is NOT optional! We have to do it. We have to get AWAY and be a couple and “court”. Feels refreshing! Love this. Take care and I’m happy for ya!

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

      Thanks so much for stopping by! It’s so much harder than I thought it would be just to BE a couple. I’m working on trying to get off of night shift so that we can at least spend every night with SOME conversation!

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:13 pm

      I have to start thinking about it like that!

  • Reply
    dmac
    May 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    I can relate. We don’t live around family either and those first few years of having small kids was so hard for us. Eventually they get older and make their own friends so they go for sleepovers or whatever. But until that happens, I know you’ll find a way to make it work. And NE puts on a REALLY good show!

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      NE puts on a GREAT show! They STILL sound like the records!

  • Reply
    MrsTDJ
    May 21, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    NE is coming through DC at the end of the month and I green over not going! Was the concert the bomb? *lol* Anyway, glad you and the Hubs got to have a night out alone. I understand exactly what you mean and it’s certainly a struggle for us too.
    MrsTDJ recently posted..Dim All The Lights Sweet DarlingMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      NE was THE BOMB.COM!!!

  • Reply
    krissy
    May 21, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    That’s awesome! I’m glad you guys had a great time and I hope you have many more

  • Reply
    Jessica
    May 21, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    I am so happy you had a good time! And, I think the lesson that you learned is one that I STILL need to learn — that even though I’m a parent, I have to be okay to get help with my children to do fun things as an adult. My husband and I had our last date on my birthday in January, and it was awesome. That day, we both said we would do that more often, but we haven’t done it more often. You remind me that I need to stop making excuses, trust that my children will be okay, and just go…have fun, feel normal, be an adult!
    Jessica recently posted..Midwestern GirlMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:19 pm

      It’s just so hard to trust that someone else can take care of your children just as well as you can. Plus, I think it’s healthy for the children to see Mommy and Daddy enjoying themselves WITHOUT them.

  • Reply
    Nadja
    May 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Ooh! NE is going to be out here in Hawaii in June and I’m so looking forward to it.

    I’m glad you and the hubby were able to take some time out for yourselves and hope that you get to do it on a more regular basis. I’m on the same boat and maybe I just need to work a little harder at finding a babysitter that I can fully trust. (So much easier said than done though, isn’t it?)
    Nadja recently posted..To my first baby on your birthdayMy Profile

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      May 23, 2012 at 1:22 pm

      NE was GREAT!!! I always love going to see them!

  • Reply
    Whitney
    May 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    It will get easier for you, especially when the baby gets older and can tell you what’s going on. That’s what kept me home, I wanted my girls to be able to tell me what has happened if anything. Then as they got older and actually wanted to spend time away with friends, then I eased up a bit.
    Whitney recently posted..Comment on Are You Worth The Price? by WhitneyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Brainy Pint Sizer
    May 21, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I’m so incredibly happy for you and hubby for getting a rare chance to have quality (and fun) time out minus the little man. You need time alone. What better way to get the happy flow back than at a New Edition concert? “If it isn’t love…” hope it rings in your ears. 🙂 Try to build a relationship with a mom/dad buddy team. It’s tough when family is far away but on those rare occasions where you’re in need of quality time, they’d be a blessing. Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike…choreographed steps: I had “I love New Edition” written on my jeans. 80s flash back!
    Brainy Pint Sizer recently posted..25 Food Trucks in One Day: A “foodie” checks out the Washington, DC food truck scene (Part 2)My Profile

  • Reply
    April
    May 22, 2012 at 5:43 am

    I’m visiting from SITS! Your date night sure sounds like it was a huge success! Good for you both!
    April recently posted..Final Curtain CallMy Profile

  • Reply
    Nellie
    May 22, 2012 at 8:15 am

    You have GOT to love a good date night. I like you struggle to find folks to watch our kids and I have got family in town!

    Looks like it was a great time 🙂 Glad you enjoyed your weekend.
    Nellie recently posted..Bye Bye Baby Weight: Running on a Hamster WheelMy Profile

  • Reply
    Born27
    May 22, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Great to know that you had a very enjoyable date. I know that Pookah enjoyed too with the visit of your parents. I expect more dates from you guys! Wish you all the best!
    Born27 recently posted..Internet Phone CallsMy Profile

  • Reply
    tori
    May 22, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Looks like so much fun! Making time for date nights is always a challenge, but always, always so worth it! Glad you got a fabulous night out!
    tori recently posted..Festivus Ceremonious MaximusMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amber
    May 22, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Date nite is always fun and very necessary! I’m so grateful that we have help. It really does make a difference. Hopefully you’ll get more dates in!
    Amber recently posted..My Plate is Full and I’m Hungry for More!My Profile

  • Reply
    Cam - Bibs & Baubles
    May 22, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    Sounds like a great date night!!! I haven’t seen New Edition in years and heard they put on a great show!!!

    More date nights are always a good thing. (preaching to the choir)
    Cam – Bibs & Baubles recently posted..Mode Monday : Old HabitsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mimi
    May 23, 2012 at 12:43 am

    Yay!! The Mr. and I hardly get out together. He is fine with being home with the kids while I go out but that needs to change. I think sometimes it is hard to want to ask other people to keep our children but building the village is necessary. There are tons of people who are willing to help we just have to be willing to ask. This is to you and C Dub getting out more. *cheers*
    Mimi recently posted..Weekend Wrap UpMy Profile

  • Reply
    rosesdaughter
    May 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    I’ve really got to find a babysitter I trust. A friend of mine offered her teenaged daughter, but I have visions of some strange boy sneaking in my house while I’m gone…

  • Reply
    My Life - The SITS Girls
    August 30, 2012 at 4:31 am

    […] The struggles of finding time/help for date night. […]

  • Reply
    Good Food Good Friends
    August 30, 2012 at 6:57 am

    Good for you! It’s so important for have a date night. We try to go at least once a week. But it’s hard with a teenager and a pre-teenager and all their activities. Sometimes date night is on a Tuesday. That’s better than nothing!
    Good Food Good Friends recently posted..{Featured Recipe Thursday} Easy Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip CookiesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Anna Hettick
    August 30, 2012 at 7:23 am

    I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have family close to take the kids every once in a while. My parents live 15 min away and my SIL lives 30-45 min away plus there’s tons of our friends that are happy to take them. Sometimes I just need a break and it’s always nice to go out with the hubs. =)

    Happy SITS Day!! =)
    Anna Hettick recently posted..Book Review | Nothing to HideMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amanda
    August 30, 2012 at 8:22 am

    Happy SITS!! You have a beautiful family!!

  • Reply
    Co-Pilot Mom
    August 30, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Sounds like you had a great evening out! I find it hard to arrange date nights sometimes, too, but when my husband and I do get out for a little while it is wonderful.
    Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..The ReasonMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tara @ secretsofamomaholic.com
    August 30, 2012 at 9:05 am

    You are not alone! We never go out. It is sad. It is so important to reconnect (in more ways than one!) outside of your house, away from the kids…this is coming from someone with family close by. It’s just hard.
    Tara @ secretsofamomaholic.com recently posted..Peanut Butter and Jelly MuffinsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sheila Skilllingstead
    August 30, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Nice picture. Enjoy your SITS day. Best wishes on your future date nights. I laughed at your description of your mom and her look when you were giving her instructions to take care of your little guy. Seen that look!
    Sheila Skilllingstead recently posted..Words: FineMy Profile

  • Reply
    misssrobin
    August 30, 2012 at 9:56 am

    When I see one of my friends succeeding at something I want to be good at, I ask them to tell me about it. They love to talk about how they find their way and I get ideas I might not have come up with on my own. We get so caught up thinking we have to do it all ourselves sometimes that we forget to use the experience of others. Don’t be afraid to ask.

    Good luck as you make time together. It matters. I’m so glad you had a good time.
    misssrobin recently posted..I Can StrengthenMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amy
    August 30, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Congratulations!! I am craving alone time with my man. We also have no real family local. so short paying a fortune for a babysitter, we don’t get to go anywhere. 4 kids is a lot. But in TWO MORE YEARS, the oldest will be at babysitting age. WOOHOO!!

    yes, I AM counting down. And I’m not ashamed to admit it!
    Amy recently posted..Just a reminder!My Profile

  • Reply
    Kristin
    August 30, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Those date nights are so important! Matt and I go out regularly, and we’re so blessed to have a network of people who can, and want to, hang out with the kidlet while we do. It’s so good for the relationship, and while often we are in comfortable silence, it’s really nice not to feel pressured to force conversation, finish up so we can go to X activity for kidlet, etc. I hope you are able to find a way to make time together – it’s so good, and so important!
    Kristin recently posted..Organizing: My ClosetMy Profile

  • Reply
    Venus
    August 30, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    I’m so glad you enjoyed yourself!! It’s funny, when our little G was between 3-8 months old, we had more nights out (if only for about two hours at a time) than we did *before* we had G! Though, we were lucky to have my MIL local who was happy to swoon over G for a couple of hours. If I didn’t have her, I’m not sure what I would do. I just don’t trust anyone else yet with the little guy!
    Venus recently posted..That bat makes you look fat.My Profile

  • Reply
    Evanthia of merelymothers
    August 30, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Isn’t it funny how motherhood gives you a new definition of “normal,” and every once in a while, you go out into the “real world,” with the rest of society and get a glimpse of everyone else’s “normal.” What a difference! Of course, we wouldn’t change it for anything, but sometimes it is nice to just be a woman/wife, and leave your mommy hat at home. Happy SITS Day!
    Evanthia of merelymothers recently posted..Top-Ten Tuesday: Fall Runway Fashion Trends Moms Can Actually WearMy Profile

  • Reply
    hilljean
    August 30, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Every time we manage to get a date night we say the same thing. Why don’t we do this more often? It is SO good for us and I come back feeling revived. Like I got to be me again for a night. Great point!
    hilljean recently posted..The Most Important Thing I Ever BrokeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jester Queen
    August 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    Scott and I have this problem. We’ve FOUND somebody who will watch our two, but we don’t want to abuse it, and then just digging out from under the WORK PILE for long enough to go somewhere together is so HARD. I truly admire your doctor friend who can pull it off. It sounds like she’s achieving it without a nanny, too, which is awesome.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Dinosaur WHOMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jester Queen
    August 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    Unrelated PS — I just realize we use the same WordPress theme.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Dinosaur WHOMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jen
    September 9, 2012 at 7:48 am

    I also have a busy day though I still don’t have a kid so maybe my definition of “busy” is just “normal” for you. But I think it’s important to slow down and listen to YOUR needs for a while. It’ll help you destress while maintaining wonderful relationships with your family, friends and especially, your hubby. 😛

    Saying hi from SITS! I hope you can also visit my blog at http://whyyyjen.blogspot.com.

    Jen
    Jen recently posted..ALL YOU NEED IS ONE.My Profile

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