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What to write? I’ve been trying to write a post for several days now, and nothing seems to come out.  I am still waiting.  I was hoping (due to the fact that I no longer have insurance) that I would go ahead and miscarry naturally.  But  other than some on and off spotting, nothing is happening.  So tomorrow, I will call the office and schedule the D&C I suppose.  The trick is trying to do it and not miss any work.  Impossible though. 

Horrors or horrors, I got an invitation for a baby shower yesterday.  For this Saturday coming up.  It’s for a friend of mine who had her own miscarriage at 16 weeks and then went on to become pregnant again.  She’s now due in January.  I really was looking forward to it.  Now, I don’t know.  On the one hand, it’s a symbol of hope that I can and will get pregnant again.  But on the other hand, I just don’t know if I can deal with it.

I went to work yesterday.  I prayed hard in the car that I didn’t have to deliver anybody, and my prayers were answered.  I put on a bright cheerful face and I think I fooled everyone.  I haven’t told anyone at work yet, I haven’t figured out how to talk about it out loud without breaking down.  It was bad enough when i had to tell my mother.  I waited until Friday.  No need to ruin anyone else’s Thanksgiving.

Other than the obvious though, I am doing ok.  I am coping much better now.  At least I think I am.

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  • Reply
    December 1, 2008 at 11:14 am

    I’m so sorry that this has happened. I’m sorry just doesn’t seem sufficient though. I’m not going to say any of the cliche’ things. Just know that I’m praying for you and C-Dub.

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