So I had my 2 week followup appointment today. Everything seems to be “back to normal.” Whatever “normal” is. My bleeding has basically slowed, gone bye bye, just some occasional spotting. Dr K tried his best to reassure me that this was probably just a fluke. That everything was OK and that since I had proven that I can get pregnant, I should be pregnant again soon. He said he would like for me to have at least one AF before I start TTC again. He gave me the reason for it(ie uterine lining needs to build back up for a bean to implant in), but stated that he has seen women come in without waiting pregnant again.
Well. I never thought I’d say it, but BRING ON AF!
I was browsing my google reader and came across a post from Tara over at Divine Secrets of the Infertility Sisterhood. She had copied a daily devotional that really hit home for me. It was basically about waiting on God and his plan for our lives. It was something I needed to read this morning while I was feeling down in the dumps about the miscarriage and C-Dub being laid off. I keep asking why, why me? why us? why now? Is this a test? What are we supposed to be learning? Help me to understand! It’s almost been a month, and I still don’t have answers. I still don’t understand. How do I move on without answers or understanding? How do I go on and be happy again? Sure, I smile, I even laugh. But underneath, I feel like if I let my guard down for just a minute, I will break into a million pieces. I’m tired of feeling like this. I want to go back to feeling happy and free and hopeful!
So for now, I am waiting on God to show me the plan.
Patience has never been one of my strong points.
Join Our Newsletter
Join to get the latest eyecandy, tips and resources in your inbox