So, C Dub and I started the day off well with some post AF nookie. Ahhhh, my day was going good. Then, THE ARGUMENT began. Over the stupid Internet not working. I don’t know how or what or even why it escalated, let’s just say that it did. It was really really bad. It left me feeling helpless, like nothing I ever say is going to be right. Nothing I ever say is going to be accepted at face value. Nothing he ever says is going to not hurt my feelings in some way. I even had the fleeting thought that this is why I am not pregnant. There is no way we need to have a baby while we are in this state of mind.
But of course, reason returned. By late this afternoon(after I blew off a lot of steam on the elliptical and he went to Starbucks to get away from me and the non working Internet) we had seemed to patch things up. I fixed the Internet, he invited me to Starbucks for a “lets be friends again” frappachino, and I cooked dinner. I said I was sorry(what for? who cares) he said he was sorry(again what for and who cares) and now, we are getting ready to have make up sex.
I feel like I am on the roller coaster that is always on the upside down loops. Never to end. It makes me really really question myself and reaffirms that God knows what he is doing, even when I don’t.