It was a lovely day here in Atlanta today. So we did what Atlantians do, and went to the park. Nothing like a park on a Saturday in Atlanta. It's beautiful, it's warm, and it makes you long for spring.
C-Dub and I went to get our taxes done,(didn't get as much as I wanted, but I'm just glad we don't owe!) then had lunch in midtown. It was a perfect day. Afterwards, while walking in the park C-Dub and I had the “what if?” conversation. I had been thinking this week a lot about the what ifs. What if I don't get pregnant again? Would he be willing to proceed with IUI or IVF? His response: No.
His stance is that if we are meant to have kids, we will. He doesn't want to spend “millions of dollars” on something that is not 100% sure. He'd rather adopt, or just not have any at all.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
His whole point is that I worry too much. According to him, we've gotten pregnant once, we should be able to do it again. He doesn't see the big picture:
I'm 32 going on 33. My eggs are getting old.
It took me year to get pregnant. And then I miscarried.
He had never gotten anyone pregnant. I'd never been pregnant before. And neither of us has been perfect.
I'm just saying. I have the feeling that something is not right.
I tried to calm down and I suggested that maybe we should just get tested to make sure. He's not on board with that yet either. I couldn't argue with him because
A:we were in public and
B: he seemed so unmovable on this that I have decided to take a step back for now.
I am going to give this 6 months. Or rather, until June. If I am not pregnant by the end of that month/cycle, I WILL be calling my OB/GYN or maybe I'll talk to my new boss………..
In the meantime, it's the 2WW for me. Hopefully, this will all be stress for nothing.