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There is a big job fair here in Atlanta today.

C-Dub has gone to it, resumes in hand.

I am praying.

I am hoping.

I am begging.

I want him to get a job.

Surprisingly, we are surviving on my salary.  But just surviving.

The phone got cut off yesterday morning.

Soon, so will the cable.

I’m holding on to Internet and cell phones, because hey, he needs to look for a job somehow.  And if he doesn’t have a phone, how can they call?  If he has no Internet, he can’t fill out on-line applications.

So my main concerns are the mortgage, the car notes, electricity and food.

This is my life now.

Just surviving.  I would love it if C-dub got a job.  Any job.  Any job that pays.

I miss going out for dinner.

I want to be able to pay my credit cards off. 

I miss buying a random shirt.  A random book, a random pair of jeans.  A random lunch out with the girls.

I don’t want to have to budget for all these baby showers that I have been invited to.  Or feel like I’m giving a shity gift that’s not on the Target or Babies R Us registry.

This post wasn’t supposed to be a complaint.  It was supposed to be about hope.  Hope that C-Dub was going to get a job today.  Hope of the possibilities, hope that spring was here to stay. Hope that some of my money will finally be my own.  Is that selfish? probably so.  But I miss it.  I miss being able to spend at random.  I miss watching my credit card balance decrease. 

Ok.

I am going to stop while I am ahead.

Now.

Right now.

I’m tired.

Of this shit.

STOP.

Hope springs eternal, right?

  • Reply
    iambrowneyedgirl
    March 11, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    Sorry you’re feeling so down. Lack of money is always a hard thing to live through. I hope C-Dub finds a job soon.

  • Reply
    VA Blondie
    March 11, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    I am sorry that you are feeling down. It sucks when there is not enough money for things you need. I hope your hubby gets a job soon.

    We went without cable for about a year. We found there are a lot of things you can watch on the internet. We did survive it, and in fact, now that we have cable back, I find myself turning off the TV, or opting not to watch it at all. We also do not have a land line. Each of us have cell phones, though. (Our jobs sort of need us to have cell phones, so it just made sense.)

    I hope things get better soon.

  • Reply
    Natalie
    March 12, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Hope Springs Eternal has been my mantra for over a year now. 😉

    I’m sorry that you’re having such a hard time financially. It’s so stressful when that happens. My husband is a brick mason, and his income is at the mercy of the weather and the economy. This past year has been rough on us, as the economy sucks and construction has been slow. Times were really tight for a few months, but we’re lucky that it’s been OK for a while. It’ll slow down again and cause more stress… It always happens.

    I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you that C-Dub finds a job. Also, I don’t think I knew you were in Atlanta. I live in Chattanooga, just two hours away!

  • Reply
    TheMrs
    March 12, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Marriage is hard enough and adding the stresses of finances to it doesn’t help. Prayerfully C-Dub will find a job soon.

    And no, it’s not selfish to want to your money to be your own. It’s a true and valid feeling. And hopefully you’ll be able to treat yourself soon.

    ***Big Hug My Friend, BIG GIANT HUG***

  • Reply
    Kischa
    March 12, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    I’ll be praying that things start looking up for you guys! Little things such as eating out that we take for granted are really overlooked blessings in our lives. I hope C-Dub gets a job real soon.

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