There is a big job fair here in Atlanta today.
C-Dub has gone to it, resumes in hand.
I am praying.
I am hoping.
I am begging.
I want him to get a job.
Surprisingly, we are surviving on my salary. But just surviving.
The phone got cut off yesterday morning.
Soon, so will the cable.
I’m holding on to Internet and cell phones, because hey, he needs to look for a job somehow. And if he doesn’t have a phone, how can they call? If he has no Internet, he can’t fill out on-line applications.
So my main concerns are the mortgage, the car notes, electricity and food.
This is my life now.
Just surviving. I would love it if C-dub got a job. Any job. Any job that pays.
I miss going out for dinner.
I want to be able to pay my credit cards off.
I miss buying a random shirt. A random book, a random pair of jeans. A random lunch out with the girls.
I don’t want to have to budget for all these baby showers that I have been invited to. Or feel like I’m giving a shity gift that’s not on the Target or Babies R Us registry.
This post wasn’t supposed to be a complaint. It was supposed to be about hope. Hope that C-Dub was going to get a job today. Hope of the possibilities, hope that spring was here to stay. Hope that some of my money will finally be my own. Is that selfish? probably so. But I miss it. I miss being able to spend at random. I miss watching my credit card balance decrease.
I am going to stop while I am ahead.
Of this shit.
Hope springs eternal, right?