Random Tuesday: Work Edition

I had a HORRID night at work on Sunday night.  Just a few notes about it…..

• 700pm: I’m not in charge. It should be a good night!
• 730pm: We get a call from security: apparently, there is a fight going on in our lobby.  I go out, blood on the walls, mommy and daddy have bloody noses.  He keeps saying: all I wanted to know was was the baby mine? Apparently when he asked she hit him, and in reflex he hit her.  They were both led away in handcuffs.
• 830: My patient delivers.  Nice delivery. Except my patient doesn’t know who is the baby daddy.  Consequently, I have three sets of potential grandparents waiting to see this baby.  And three baby daddies……security got called once again when the baby turns out to be black.  You see, all of the potential baby daddies were white……
• 945: I am coming back from transferring my patient to postpartum when I hear yelling in the hallway.  The charge nurse and another nurse are yelling at each other in front of staff and patients….ONCE AGAIN security is called when  the charge nurse sucker punches the other in the eye and that nurse  decides to press charges….
• 1000: I’m now in charge.
• 1200: I get a call from admissions. Everyone in the waiting room is freaked out because a patient came in with her dead baby wrapped up in a towel.  Poor thing delivered at home and just didn’t know what to do.  So she wrapped everything up and drove herself in.  I scolded the admission clerk for freaking everyone out and led the poor girl back to a room.  SMH. Some folks are so insensitive.
• 100 am: Another staff fight:( what the FUCK?) Anesthesia and a nurse cursing each other out about who is going to push back a bed.  I refuse to have security up there again, so I tell both of them to shut the hell up and push the bed back my damn self.
• 400am: Crash C Section: cord prolapse( cord came before the baby) Baby was fine..
• 5:00 am: Kumbaya Delivery complete with bells, chants, candles, squatting, pooping on the floor, Dr slipping in poop and breaking his arm, which results in me doing delivery standing on the bed while the patient is leaned over with one leg up.
• I swear I don’t make this shit up.
• 645 am: We have no beds left on Labor and Delivery.  There are patients laboring in the waiting room, in the OR and in triage.
• 7:05 I give report to the oncoming shift
• 800: I hobble home to have the day I had yesterday…….