Beyond Exhausted

3am…..

It’s  3:04 am on Friday and I am at work writing this post.

Did you know that I work nights?

12 hours at a time?

Yes, I “only” work 3 nights a week, but honey let me tell you, those are the toughest three nights of my life.

You see, when you work nights, you spend the day before dreading/anticipating. And the day after in a coma.

Missing life.

I used to be able to wake up at 1 pm the night after I worked( if I didn’t have to work again that night) and do things.

Have a life.

Now, I’m lucky if I manage to shower, pick up Pookah, and get something on the table for dinner before I pass out again as soon as Pookah goes to sleep.

Needless to say, life has suffered.

I am BEYOND exhausted.

I have no energy.

I have no interest in anything but when can I sleep. Or lay down, or nap or just….

My Life is suffering.  My blog, my photography, my relationship with my husband, my health, my fitness, my home.

My temper is shorter. I find myself snapping at Pookah when I used to have patience.

C-Dub and I don’t really talk. It’s like we are two ships passing in the night and when we are together, all I want to do is sleep.  I cried the other night when he was trying sooo hard to create a little romance and in my head all I wanted him to do was leave me alone so I could sleep.

I’m not eating well.  I swear, Wednesday after I worked, I ate a container of yogurt…..and that was it.  I was hungry around 9 after I put Pookah to bed, but by the time I realized it, I was in bed and couldn’t muster the energy to get out of bed, go downstairs and make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I think I might be slightly depressed.

I need to get off of night shift.

I talked to my manager a couple of weeks ago, and she said most “likely” I will be able to go to day shift in June.

June.

That’s 3 months away.

OK 2.

That’s 63 days from now.

I don’t know if I can survive 63 more days.

Because I am beyond exhausted.