Stressed

I’m tired folks.

Pookah has been having a bad couple of nights.  Not sleeping well at all.  Waking up every night and refusing to go back to sleep unless he is in our bed and up under one of us.  This woulnd’t be much of a problem if he didn’t sleep so wild.  I don’t think he gets much sleep either, but he perks up and keeps it moving.

On the other hand, his parents are at their wits ends.

C-Dub in particular is loosing it.  Tuesday night before I left for work, I got snapped at for no apparent reason.  Which now that I think on it, has become a regular occurrence around here.  On my way out of the door, I did point out that I didn’t feel like I was being treated kindly.  That lead to a phone call on the way to work in which he expressed his frustration with my schedule and his inability to have time for himself.

*crickets*

To be fair to him, I have asked him to give up every weekend for the past nine months. And he has done it.  But it’s wearing on him not being able to do anything together or just on his own.  He feels like he works five days a week and never gets his “break” because he is keeping Pookah.  We all need downtime for our mental and physical well being.  That’s one of the reasons Pookah now goes to daycare full time.  I think it was OK with him as long it looked like both of us were sharing the load.  But now, at least to him, he feels like the load is uneven because he doesn’t get any time off.  And I do.  Every Thursday and Friday I basically have the whole day to myself.  Even if I do use those days to clean, shop for the house, pay bills and make sure his life runs smoothly. *side eye*

But a friend of mine put it to me in a way where I can admit I can see his point.

On the other hand, he wants me to change my schedule NOW.  I’ve explained to him, that I can request a day shift position, but that there’s just not one available for me right now.  He also wants me to come off of weekends as soon as possible.  This means waaaaaaay less money and it will crowd my weekdays so much trying to fit in those three night shifts Monday through Friday.  With an occasional weekend shift.

But, what’s more important? Money or marriage? I mean it’s supposed to be 50/50.  And I guess he feels like it’s 60/40.  But that’s how I’ve felt for the last 21 months.  But I just kept soldiering on, trying to make it work for all us.

Did it ever occur to him, that I don’t particularly like giving up my EVERY weekend? I miss parties, time with the two of them( does anyone remember this?) Mother’s day, Father’s day….But I kept it moving because it’s what we needed at the time. It worked for his schedule.  He always said he couldn’t leave work early 3 days a week so that I could work nights during the week. So me working weekends worked.  But now….

So I’ve been a little stressed out.  C-Dub and I are always bickering, Pookah is transitioning to a new daycare and into his terrible twos, I need new tires, we need a new couch NOW( the current one is just falling apart before my eyes), we need to either rip up the carpet or get new carpet or get new flooring because it just looks bad, and it’s about 7 years old AND I’m going to have to redo the whole budget to accommodate the loss of income.  Sigh.

And now I’m even looking for other job options because I don’t know how much longer we all can go without C-Dub loosing it.

Sigh.

Just when things start looking up……..