Here I am on the eve of returning to work, and I am horrified.
Trying to calm myself down.
The Pookah has refused almost every bottle/nipple known to man. I even tried a sippy cup. But he just cries pitifully and pushes them all away. And when I finally can’t take it anymore and give him the boob, he looks at my with such accusation in his eyes!
And so does C-Dub by the way. The look is identical really. Scary.
I HAVE to go back to work. No choice really. We need to pay the mortgage next month.
I don’t want to go!!!!! What if he doesn’t eat the whole time that I am gone? What if he screams and cries and makes himself and everyone around him miserable the whole week that I am on orientation? How am I going to manage to pump enough this week to keep my supply up? Hell, where am I going to pump, the bathroom?
C-Dub of course isn’t helpful, he has this whole attitude that it’s not going to work and that we should have started him on the bottle from the beginning.
Yeah, he’s real supportive.
I feel like my head is going to blow up I am so stressed. And I know that stress can decreased your supply, but really, how do I reduce stress when I know my baby won’t eat?
I don’t want to go back to work. I want to stay home with my baby. All the time.
I never thought it would be ME saying that. But the very idea that I have to leave him for 10-14 hours at a time, is not sitting well with me at all.
NOT. AT. ALL.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow.
I don’t want to leave my baby. 🙁