20 WEEKS

Today, I am 20 weeks exactly.

WE ARE HALFWAY THERE!!!!!

I can’t believe we made it this far!! I am soooo excited. And still scared.

I woke up this morning in a state of panic.  I don’t know what it was, but I just couldn’t seem to settle all morning.  I had this impending feeling of doom all morning long.  I couldn’t stand it.  Finally, I gave in and went over to the ultrasound department.

“Please????I just need to hear the heartbeat.”

Luckily, they took pity on me.  I have a baby bigger than the ones they are used to seeing, so someone got to practice.

And my boy put on a show! He kicked and squirmed, and I was amazed that I can’t feel most of it.  It seems that he really likes to kick at my placenta.  REALLY!  But he was a active little one in there.  It was great, made my day.

I am halfway to the finish line with a 15 pound weight gain. 

5 months down, 4 to go.

But wait………

FOUR MONTHS TO GO!

I haven’t done anything!!

We haven’t picked a name, I haven’t cleaned out the nursery, we haven’t painted anything, I’ve only bought 3 items of clothing and nothing else!  Do I register now?

 Oh. My. God. 

 I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown!

So much to do, really, so little time.

People keep saying, these 20 weeks have flown by haven’t they? 

Well no actually.  I feel like every week is dragging because I am literally watching the clock/calender/ticker.

I just want to be like other normal people and enjoy my pregnancy instead of worrying over every little thing.

But it’s OK.

Life is good right now.  My baby boy is still safe in my tummy, growing like he should.  C-Dub has a job, and is doing all the right things.  My sex drive has returned. 🙂 

I’m trying to be grateful, and enjoy every moment.  I’m trying not to focus so much of what could happen, and instead focus on what is happening. 

It’s hard.  But hey, I’ve still got a little time to work on it.