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Getting a Life


I was reading through my incredibly backlogged Bloglovin list of blog posts and came across a post from Creative Mama that led off with this great quote from Mark Twain:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed

by the things you that you didn’t do than by the ones

you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from

the safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Wow. For some reason, that quote stuck with me all night at work, and all through the next day.

The post started off with a mom being asked, “what do you dream about?” ” Her answer was that she hadn’t thought about herself in 8 years. Basically, when her first child was born.

That made me pause. Why? Because that could be me.

Since Pookah has been born, I always think about him first, C-Dub second and me….way third down on the list.

I was becoming a bitter, boring, tired bitch.

Finally. For me, I decided to do a few things:

  • Go to dayshift. Yes, money will be less, it’s more inconvient for C-Dub to have to take Pookah to daycare on somedays AND pick him up. There will be no dinner on those days cooked by me. Pookah won’t see me but for about an hour on those days before he goes to bed. But! On the days when I am off, I will truly be off. No “I need to sleep” then get up and rush to do things before my body gives out again. C-Dub won’t be parenting alone on three nights a week. I will be able to be fully present in my family’s life for the first time in 2 years. I might be able to stay awake without a continuous caffeine infusion. I will be able to actually LIVE instead of just surviving DAY to DAY.
  • Go to BlogHer in New York City BY MYSELF. Yes, I am taking a big trip to New York without my child and without my husband. I haven’t done that in……ever. Since everyone was used to me always putting myself last, this was a big thing. A REALLY big thing. But I’ve arranged and I’ve manipulated and I will do this. It’s not even really about the conference( even though I WILL enjoy it and learn a lot I’m sure.) It’s more about me doing something for me. It’s about me recharging. It’s about me having more than one drink and being OK with it. It’s about me hanging out with friends and not feeling guilty. It’s about ME.
  • Take myself seriously as a photographer. Now that doesn’t mean that I’ll be going into business. It just means that I want to take more classes, take more photos of folks other than Pookah and C-Dub, learn new techniques. REALLY get into it. So if you start see me talking more about it on my blog, that’s why. I love photography. I don’t know why I’ve been afraid to say that outloud or why I’ve been afraid to admit that I spend a tremendous amount of time researching, reading, and spending money on my “hobby”. SMH. It’s like writing. I’ve got to do it.
  • Start running again. I’ve always wanted to run. I’ve had dreams of completing 5ks, half marathons, Boston Marathons etc. I want to do it. But I’ve always got the “I don’t have the time or energy” excuse. Well, I’m getting ready to get rid of both excuses. So…no more excuses hmmm????

So that’s what’s up around here. Blogher starts on Friday, and I’ll be in New York on Thursday. I’ll be sure to update you guys as much as I can through twitter, instagram and here!

See some of you in New York!!!!

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  • Reply
    K. Rock
    July 30, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Love it! You only have one life to live and I am totally onboard with making it the best you can make it. I had to make my mind up to do the same thing for myself and even though I am not 100% there yet, I do enjoy the things I make time to do.

    • Reply
      July 30, 2012 at 9:54 am

      EXACTLY!! I felt like I was just putting off everything that I want to do in favor of everyone else!!

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 9:59 am

    Good for you! It’s high time we start thinking about ourselves, and I’m so happy for you and the decisions that you’ve made. It will not only be better for you, but for your family as well.

    Have fun in Blogher in NYC, I’m here and I have yet a chance to go. Say hi to all the blogging buddies for me 🙂

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I figured it out awhile after my son was born. I take the time and now its just a part of how our home runs and vice versa for him. We are mindful of each others plans and plan accordingly. It makes for such a good life to have some sort of balance.

    See you in NYC!!
    Mimi recently posted..Building the House…Episode 1My Profile

    • Reply
      July 31, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      I think I am finally getting to this place. I was just feeling guilty for wanting to do me. SMH

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I 100% understand! I always put my daughter and husband first too

    Looking forward to meeting you!
    Shaun recently posted..*me*me*me*me*My Profile

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Always take time for yourself I do it when I can even if its going to the library alone. Can’t wait til day shift yay and enjoy New York.
    Kita recently posted..Blogger 411My Profile

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    You know, I’ve been told this a lot lately and as I sit and think about it, it’s true. I hardly ever take time out to myself or to celebrate things involving me. Usually, I’m too tired to celebrate or I’m just glad it’s over.

    At this point, I’m so used to it but I’m working on that.
    Carla recently posted..The Mommy Graduate.My Profile

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Sounds great. I’m trying to do more for myself as well.
    Krissy recently posted..The one where we meet K Rock and the girlsMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    Yep, this is not a dress rehearsal! Good for you for taking steps to get the life you want. See you at BlogHer!
    Quiana recently posted..A Lil More BlogHer Chatter and a Thank You GiveawayMy Profile

  • Reply
    This Cookn Mom
    July 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    What caught me was, “I will be able to actually live instead of just survive day to day.” That spoke to me. I’m glad you have a solution. You’re right, it’s easy to get caught up taking care of everyone. We all need some “me” time. Have fun!
    This Cookn Mom recently posted..You Got a 5 yr Old?My Profile

  • Reply
    Cam - Bibs & Baubles
    July 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Yay for this post and YAY for day shift!
    It can be hard to not get caught up and lose yourself. That’s my goal. I don’t want to get so tied up in the awesomeness of being mommy and wife that I forget to be me.

    Gotta live. Only existing is not an option. 🙂
    Cam – Bibs & Baubles recently posted..Faux Product MavenMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 31, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you 🙂

  • Reply
    July 31, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    I love this and am so happy for you!
    Jessica recently posted..I bought the good brasMy Profile

  • Reply
    August 7, 2012 at 8:11 am

    As a woman and a mother, I think it’s our instinct to think first of our children and our husband before us. We always want the best for them, and to take good care for their own welfare. That is the essence of being a mother..
    Born27 recently posted..Conference call etiquette tipsMy Profile

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