I wanna thank God, Baby Jesus, Clearblue easy, C-Dub……..

I am walking around in a daze.

C-Dub has been doing fine.  We couldn’t get in any earlier for our appointment, so it will have to be next week.  He seems to have had a load lifted off of him, just by telling me.  We’ve been praying and taking  it one day at a time, and it’s been working for us.

C-Dub and I made the decision not to tell anyone this time.

Last time we shouted it from the rooftops.

I slipped and told my momma though.

But she is banned from telling my Daddy. 

He. Cannot. Hold. Water.

LORD HAVE MERCY!!!

How am I going to get through the next 9 months?????????

C-Dub told me not to worry myself sick this time.  Let go and let God.

Easier said than done.

OK, let’s get to what you really want to hear.

I had been feeling great all this week.  I realized that this weekend, my  period was supposed to start, but I wasn’t really thinking about it.  Then, on Monday, I took my temp.  Just to see.  It was high.

Hmmmmm.

So, then on Tuesday, I took it again.  Dipped down.  Oh well, I thought.  Just as well.

But on Wednesday, It had gone back up again.

I thought about it off and on all day.  Mostly off because my bra felt like it was two sizes too small and I was anxious to get home and take it off. 

Sooo, as soon as I got home, off came the bra.  As I am standing there, scratching away(tmi, I know) C-Dub comes in and says,

“Wow, your breasts are huge.”

I smiled, some hanky panky followed, but in the back of my mind, the seed had been planted.

So, I had a dollar store test in the cabinet.

Peed on it: 

One line.

I came back about 5 minuted later to throw it away because I didn’t want C-Dub to see it and know what I was doing.

There was a faint second line.

OMG.

Now, I saved my last Clearblue easy digital.  I wanted so bad to take it, but I decided if I was gonna use it, it would be with first morning urine.

Of course I got no sleep last night.  Plus, I woke up to pee.

Hmmmmm

I shot up and of course, took my temp:still up.  Wiped:no spotting.   I peed on a stick and got ready for work.

I look back at it after getting dressed.

PREGNANT.

Those words I have longed for.

I bust out of the bathroom and woke C-Dub up.

He squinted at it . “For real?”  I get a big hug and a kiss and a “see, I told you it would happen.”

So all day, I have been in a daze.  It’s not real to me yet.  At all.  I feel disconnected.  I want to hope.  So badly.  But I am scared to.  I made it to 10 weeks 6 days last time.  Until I am 11 weeks, I won’t be comfortable.  Hell, until the baby is out and safe in my arms, I will be pulling my hair.

Woooo-sah.