I am walking around in a daze.
C-Dub has been doing fine. We couldn’t get in any earlier for our appointment, so it will have to be next week. He seems to have had a load lifted off of him, just by telling me. We’ve been praying and taking it one day at a time, and it’s been working for us.
C-Dub and I made the decision not to tell anyone this time.
Last time we shouted it from the rooftops.
I slipped and told my momma though.
But she is banned from telling my Daddy.
He. Cannot. Hold. Water.
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!
How am I going to get through the next 9 months?????????
C-Dub told me not to worry myself sick this time. Let go and let God.
Easier said than done.
OK, let’s get to what you really want to hear.
I had been feeling great all this week. I realized that this weekend, my period was supposed to start, but I wasn’t really thinking about it. Then, on Monday, I took my temp. Just to see. It was high.
So, then on Tuesday, I took it again. Dipped down. Oh well, I thought. Just as well.
But on Wednesday, It had gone back up again.
I thought about it off and on all day. Mostly off because my bra felt like it was two sizes too small and I was anxious to get home and take it off.
Sooo, as soon as I got home, off came the bra. As I am standing there, scratching away(tmi, I know) C-Dub comes in and says,
“Wow, your breasts are huge.”
I smiled, some hanky panky followed, but in the back of my mind, the seed had been planted.
So, I had a dollar store test in the cabinet.
Peed on it:
I came back about 5 minuted later to throw it away because I didn’t want C-Dub to see it and know what I was doing.
There was a faint second line.
Now, I saved my last Clearblue easy digital. I wanted so bad to take it, but I decided if I was gonna use it, it would be with first morning urine.
Of course I got no sleep last night. Plus, I woke up to pee.
I shot up and of course, took my temp:still up. Wiped:no spotting. I peed on a stick and got ready for work.
I look back at it after getting dressed.
Those words I have longed for.
I bust out of the bathroom and woke C-Dub up.
He squinted at it . “For real?” I get a big hug and a kiss and a “see, I told you it would happen.”
So all day, I have been in a daze. It’s not real to me yet. At all. I feel disconnected. I want to hope. So badly. But I am scared to. I made it to 10 weeks 6 days last time. Until I am 11 weeks, I won’t be comfortable. Hell, until the baby is out and safe in my arms, I will be pulling my hair.
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