OK, I am 25 weeks pregnant, and I work at an IVF clinic. So yes, daily, I see women who are struggling with infertility, recurrent losses, failed cycles, and a host of other problems. I understand that having a pregnant nurse can be hard. That's why I never mention it, I always have a smile, I am courteous, helpful, and I am always willing to listen. For the first half of my pregnancy, I even tried to hide it for as long as I could.
Now, I can't hide it anymore.
A patient today, who is doing a donor egg cycle, who hadn't seen me in a few months said….
“Soooooo, you're pregnant.”
“Yes” (that was it no elaboration, nothing else.)
“Well, you know you are going to have a lot of jealous patients around here.”
OK, what do I say?
“You might want to try to hide that.”
OK. Deep breath.
Are you shitting me?
Now, I have always been conscious of the fact that I am a pregnant woman working around women who can't get pregnant.
But when I was a non pregnant person working around pregnant people, laboring people, people with babies, I NEVER , EVER EVER considered telling someone to HIDE THAT.
I suffered greatly when I went to a baby shower of a friend the day after I had my D&C. I suffered when I helped her deliver her baby when my own baby was gone and I was shattered beyond belief, barely holding myself together. But she was my friend. I suffered everyday when I worked in Labor and Delivery when I wasn't pregnant month after month of trying. I went to work two days after I found out there was no heartbeat at 10+ weeks and everybody knew. I worked with pregnant co workers and patients, delivering babies with my own dead baby still inside of me.
That was my job. But I still managed to be nice and pleasant and only had good things to say to what seemed like EVERYONE else in the world who was pregnant but me. Why take out my problems on someone else? It wasn't their fault.
I just don't understand. The comment really hurt my feelings. I could understand where she was coming from, but to actually say it?
On the one hand, I have to say she had balls to say it.
But on the other hand….
I am PROUD!!
DAMN PROUD and HAPPY to be proud of my belly, of my pregnancy! I've waited too long for this, and I'll be DAMNED if I hide it! I'm sensitive, I don't bring it up, but hide it?
Not in this lifetime.
It brings up a good question:
Would any of you do this? Have you? Do you think I should “hide that”? And if so, why?
I'm really, reallymad and just trying to understand.