Ok. So.  I am fat.

There is no other way to look at it.  I mean, if you look at me in my clothes, you would say, OK, she’s not bad.

I hide my weight well.

In fact, everyone keeps saying, “you look the same as you did before you had the baby.”

Yeah, before I had the baby I was already overweight.  I had gained back every pound I had lost.  All. OF. THEM!

So anyway.

My current weight is…..

184 pounds.

Deezam.

I mean really?

I think I needed to write it down and see it out there to know that it’s too much. 

I can’t fit in most of my clothes.  Last summer I was pregnant, and the summer before that I was ultra skinny.  Wearing small and medium tops.

Now…….yeah right.

So, I joined Weight Watchers.  Online though.  I don’t need everyone to watch me get on a scale every week.  I chose it because they take breastfeeding into consideration.  It’s still hard though.  I’ve gotten used to eating whatever, whenever.

I went to the gym for the first time last night.  C-Dub and I worked it out so that we each go twice a week for now.  He watches the boy while I go, I watch him while he goes.  We have to go late at night, but something is better than nothing.

So, the journey has started to reclaiming me.

Wish me luck!