I had to give you guys an update on how things are going around here.
Sooooo.
Apparently, I’m a mom who spies.
I listened very hard to everyone’s advice on Sunday( thank you so much!) and I started thinking about MY child.
MY Child (excuse the salt crumbs from the fries...)
My Child:
- Isn’t a bully.
- has an easy going disposition
- Until he is provoked
I kept thinking about this. I kept thinking about interactions he has had in the past with children. Biting not withstanding, the incidents are isolated. But I was curious. What was REALLY happening at daycare?? So I spied. And I’m not ashamed to say it!
After some feedback from you guys and friends and my mother( yes we made up)I decided to try something new. All morning before I dropped Pookah off, I kept reminding him, no hitting and no biting. It was the last thing I said to him before I led him into the classroom. When I left, I noticed that he was following me to the door. I stood by the door just to see if he cried. Nooooo. What happened next had me reevaluating and thinking.
There is a little girl, Riley who in the past, I noticed, came up to Pookah and always wanted a hug. But I watched in utter amazement as that little girl came up to Pookah and without a word hit him. I barely restrained myself from rushing into the room to defend my baby. But I checked myself. I wanted to see how Pookah handled it. The words out of his mouth? Nooooo. Noooo hidding( that’s hitting in Pookah speak). Hmmm. She hits him again. Noooooooo. And again. This time, he pushes her hand away. She does that shit AGAIN! Nooooo, no hidding!!! NO NO NO. By this time, the teacher realized that two of her charges was missing and asked, who was saying no. Riley moved away and another of Pookah’s friends came and they proceeded to play peacefully. But what really really got me about this whole exchange, was not ONCE did Pookah hit her back. I could hear the frustration in his voice. I couldn’t see his face, but I could tell he was getting frustrated. Is this what has been happening to my Pookah every day? Has he been battered and bullied so much in the morning that by the time the afternoon comes( when most of the “incidents” happen) he’s tired and just lashes out? It also showed me that he is actually listening to us! He repeated “no hitting” to Riley several times. So. He had an OK day. But now, we have to work on the “no biting.” He did get someone on the finger, right before I got there. Maybe I need to pick him up a little earlier. Theses incidents always happen in the evening. Too much stimulation? Tired? Hungry? Hmmm. I’ll be giving this a lot of thought.
the adventures of curly tot
Thursday 10th of November 2011
Nothing wrong with spying at all! This post worries me about my son lol. He just started day care on Tuesday. Anyways, I think he's doing good telling her no hitting. It breaks my heart that she's just targeting him. I wonder if she hits other children? It's totally normal, but it's still heartbreaking & she should learn its not right. I, too, think by the end of the day he's tired of it and just lashes out. Keep us updated!
Cam | Bibs & Baubles
Wednesday 9th of November 2011
That's tough. My little man has this hitting habit too. As I spent more time in his classroom, I noticed one little boy is a bully. He's always pushing and hitting other kids. The whole daycare thing gets me frustrated at times. I saw a little girl get pushed down by the bully and the teacher reprimanded the girl for swinging at him. I told her what happened but she was only interested in making sure the little girl didn't hit. Ugh!
rosesdaughter
Thursday 10th of November 2011
I know what you mean! His teacher actually told me the other day that the other kid "deserved" it, but if that was true, why was Pookah the only one in time out???
dmac
Tuesday 8th of November 2011
Nothing at all wrong with spying AND you saw for yourself what has really been going on. Is there only one teacher in the room? Is she paying close enough attention?
The flip side to no hitting is that sometimes kids are TOO nice when they get older. They don't really know how to "back someone up off them" without being a tattle tale. Parenting is not easy.
rosesdaughter
Thursday 10th of November 2011
There is only one teacher. But it's the Evening time when there is only one teacher and they combine the classes that he starts getting into trouble. Too many kids not enough eyes!
krissy
Tuesday 8th of November 2011
Good spying! Nothing at all wrong with it.
kita
Tuesday 8th of November 2011
Interesting he probably is saying enough is enough in the evening and he lets them have it. Watch those teachers also I am beginning to suspect my sons teacher on a few things because I can't believe my son is this bad in school. I will be spying myself the hubs will have to go in late some days so that I can go and sit in his classroom to see what's really going on. Good luck