I keep thinking that I want to do something different with this blog. After all, I am Pookah’s Mom, but I feel like being his Mom is consuming me. I miss me. I miss the old me. I know she can never fully return because she has a whole new set of responsibilities now. And I know that I can never return to “just” being the old me because of my precious baby boy. Everyday I am amazed and astounded that I am someone’s mother. His mother. But does mean that this is now my main function in life now? Is there nothing else?
I know some will say, you are still a wife. A daughter. A sister. A friend.
But I really fell like these things fall by the wayside and are secondary to being Pookah’s Mom.
And I don’t necessary like that. There was a time when I felt that that was all that was in me. My love for him consumes me. It overwhelms me. It takes precedent over everything else. Whenever I do something, plan something, think about something, he is always first.
Is that bad?
I don’t know.
But I feel like I am loosing me.
And in the process, loosing my life. Loosing my ability to function as something other than a satellite orbiting around him.
Once again. Loosing me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Is this normal?
I think I want to change the focus of my blog so that it’s not so much about just being Pookah’s Mom, but about the other things going on in Pookah’s Mom’s life.
I don’t feel like I’m getting my point across. Does anyone understand?