Random Tuesday: Work Edition
It’s that time friends…..
A day in the life of a Labor and Delivery Triage Nurse….
0700 am: Triage is empty. It’s the beginning of a beautiful day.
0800 am: Still no patients in triage. I go get fake Starbucks from the wanna be Starbucks in the lobby. The sun is shining. I got some right before I left for work. Yeah. I’m feeling good…..
0900 am: My triage partner goes to get her evaluation and I take care of the first patient of the day: discharge for 1 week.
STOP: Why have you had discharge for a week( green discharge at that) and are JUST now coming in? What changed? What made you say, today is the day I will have green discharge no more???
1100 am: Patient arrives by ambulance. Problem today? And I quote: “Something ain’t right in my pocket book.” What, you don’t have any money? Oh wait, she’s talking about her VAGINA. Indeed. Diagnosis: you have Chlamydia. Her response: My grandmother told me old men give you worms. To which I reply: My Granny told me the same thing. But baby, this ain’t no worm.
100 pm: Another ambulance arrival. They picked her up from high school. “What are you here for?” My baby hasn’t moved in a week. I already knew before I put the monitor on. Admit to labor and delivery for fetal demise The sad part was her mother looked…relieved. Even the baby daddy. The only one upset was the patient herself. When everyone else went to lunch, I held her why she cried. SMH. No one else had said they were sorry for her loss.
230 pm: Patient in for pre-op for her c section the next day. I take her blood, and get ready to ask a few questions. She sends her boyfriend out to go see if her mother is there yet to pick them up. And then says: Yeah, so I have HIV. And he doesn’t know. I manage to keep my face straight and we go over the plan for the am for her to receive her AZT before the surgery. He comes back in. We act like everything is OK. I tell them I’ll see them tomorrow.
Sometimes I hate HIPAA.
3pm: Patient here for vaginal itching. Her doctor happens to be there and we go in. Pull back the covers and……why are there things crawling on her and little red scabs??? DA HELL???????? I immediately start backing out the room while she says, oh yeah, my son had scabies last week….
As soon as she is discharged, I dump all my clothing( underwear included) in the trash, and change my clothes. And for the rest of the day, I find myself randomly itching. *shudder*
5pm: So we are down one room in triage due to the fact that the room scabies girl was in has to be decontaminated before we can use it again.
515pm: Patient rushed back from waiting room because she is screaming. I check her and feel legs instead of a head. We rush her back to the OR. Lucky for her, her Doctor is there and out comes the baby. Successful breech delivery.
555 PM: ANOTHER patient screaming down the hallway. Saying she has pressure and needs to push. Except this one is one centimeter, and FOS (Full of shit. Literally). Take yo ass home and take an enema.
Side note: It always amazes me that as soon as you say you are one centimeter, these woman stop the dramatics. She went home. Happy. Smiling. Drinking apple juice to help move things along.
630: There are 5 laboring patients in triage and NO beds on Labor and Delivery. 30 more minutes is the mantra I keep repeating in my head. I run from room to room giving pain meds and reassuring husbands that their children won’t be born on stretchers.
700 pm: Ummm, there is a patient screaming that the baby is coming ……..NONONONONONO!!
715pm: That patient is on her side, waiting for the doctor to come. I have given report to the oncoming shift……
730pm: OK, I’m soft. I stay and help deliver that patient. Such a cute snuggly little baby girl. Her name was Hope….
See, not all days on L&D are ratchet. Some are just normal days full of normal people having normal babies. With a little excitement mixed in.
That’s when I love it most of all.
The end.
Wow! only certain people are built to deal with things like this! What an awesome/crazy/itchy day! LOL. Im only an ekg tech. God bless!
Omg! I could only read half! Is it really like this everyday?
Ok ! I stopped being chicken and I read the rest and thank goodness I did. There were some normal people in your story but the first few still have me a bit sad.
Ommm 2:30 oh hell no this is why I could not be a nurse this is why mess is spread all over the place. At least the day ended with hope……literally but still I just can’t.
I love your ER Stories. For reasons like above, I hate HIPPA too. In regards to spreading a deadly disease, HIPPA needs to make some changes. OMG.
..and green discharge really…. gross.
Nurses are SAINTS. SAINTS! Also? *This* is your niche. Very very unique perspective and look at a profession most know little about.
I was thinking the exact same thing when I read this.
Oh, my, wow. just. Wow. The days you have some days, you’re incredible for what you do. Some sad stories today. Thanks for sharing!
I am bowing to you now, seriously….2:30, I hope you gave her the serious side eye. I know you couldn’t do anything, but that was ratchet, completely. Pocket book?? I haven’t heard that term since I was about 7 or 8 and I’m 50!! The girl that lost the baby, very sad…I would have been balling with her.
OMG! Thank you for this! Seriously! You amaze me with what you do on any given day at work! Amazing! The scabies thing grossed me out, though. Eek. Looking at things, possibly having to touch things creeps me out! You are a BRAVE woman!
I…umm…I just….okay, I got nothin’! God bless nurses!
Always a hilarious read!!!
so you’re saying green discharge, chlamydia, HIV and scabies are normal days with normal people eh? Yea, I’ll be passing on normal from now on then lol
I felt so sad for that teenager who lost her baby. Extra sad because no one seemed to care – but you.
I seriously gasped in shock at some of these things. This is a great post and I hope you keep doing these, because this is great.
You’ve now got me itching with that scabies story. Ewwww! But I do have to say what a nice way to end that day.
I’m going to be honest. I found your blog a couple of months ago and I never read anything on it I just like to smile at the pics of your baby and how happy you guys look. Today I decide that I’m going to read something and of all things to read I read this post and I think……I really like you. This post was great.
Hello!! Welcome! Lol! Thanks for reading AND looking. 🙂
Exactly why I think nurses are the BomB.com. I thought comforting me whilst stopping me from bleeding after a C section was a miracle. All the rest of this stuff y’all deal with. Lawd. It takes an amazing person to be a nurse.
I can’t. I just……..can’t. Too many thoughts to type! Nurses are angels…period.
i have no words for this post, except nurses are amazing human beings. So sad to hear some of the patient issues. kudos to you and all the nurses in the world who day in and day out help people heal emotionally and physically.
Hi LaShawn, I’ve been meaning to introduce myself,I’m new on the blog block. I came across this in an old tweet and I’m at work but I’m gonna type on this phone anyway! This was remarkable! I have so much respect for diff professionals. I always get the itches when ppl drop off Rxs for scabies & it last for hours! I know you were stoked after that episode. I despise HIPPA! That’s why I like working 30 minutes from home..whenever I cover shifts in town, I always see stuff I don’t care to know. Anywho, thanks for sharing and for your work there. I’m following now, nice to find you!
Hi! Welcome! I always love it when readers introduce themselves!!