Random Tuesday: Work Edition

It’s random Tuesday folks and today’s topic: Why I hate being in charge.

• 723 pm: The shift seems to be starting off normal.  I have enough staff, no problems seem to be on the rise…..dare I say it will be a good night?
• 845pm: 16 year old patient delivers.  She and her equally young and dumb 16 year old boyfriend get into it because she let her best friend hold the baby before she gave it to him….She demands we call security. 16 year old Baby daddy escorted off the property kicking and screaming.
• 915pm: Surgery in the OR with a uber : don’t touch my baby, don’t give him any meds, don’t cut the cord until it stops pulsating, I want to breastfeed on the OR table. Oh and my husband will take photos of it all with my Canon 5D Mark II.  SMH. All while I’m hemorrhaging on the table and can barely get a word out. It was a fiasco. And the man couldn’t even focus correctly on that big bad camera to get a photo of her uterus outside her body.  Because that’s where it went when she had a hysterectomy after bleeding so bad. And while his wife is halfway dead, he still keeps saying, but she needs to breastfeed now! AND TAKING PICTURES!!!!FOOL!!! Your wife is bleeding to death! Put down the damn camera!!!!
• 1025pm: 16 year old baby daddy sneaks back in because 16 year old baby mama LOVES him and didn’t mean it.  Security finds out and re-escorts him back off the property. SMH.
• 1130pm: Calm…….I try to relieve folks for lunch.
• 1215 am: Older Dr who needs to retire is going to delivery a baby with forceps.  The baby is obviously too big for her pelvis.  BUT she wants a vaginal delivery NO MATTER WHAT! Well. The 10 pound 5 oz baby does come out of her vagina.  But from the looks of it, she looks like Humpty Dumpty: Can she be put back together again? And even worse? Baby comes out not breathing, traumatized from having his head pulled on for so long and so hard.  SMH. Now I’ve got a traumatized Mommy, Traumatized baby and extra paperwork to fill out as I write this up.
• 115am: All hell breaks loose.  3 patients deliver at the same time. Every one is pitching in. I ask a nurse to go to one of the deliveries and she refuses. Says she is busy with her patients. Both of whom are sleep.  OK. I got cha. I refrain from cursing her out….
• 300 am: I’m still thinking about cursing her out, but now that I’m sitting down for a moment, I compose a loooooooong write up on her lack of teamwork, laziness and funky attitude.
• 330 am: My most ghetto nurse( I’m serious, her theme song should be “I’m so Hood”) and lazy nurse get into it.  SMH.  I swear I hesitated when she swung on her just because….I’d been wanting to do it all night.  But must be professional…security and supervisor called…
• 415am: Let the call outs for the next shift begin! I get four call outs in 15 minutes. WTH? The rush begins to find staff for day shift.
• 530am: Two people found to replace four. But that’s nursing. SMH.  And a patient rolls in form EMS screaming her head off.
• 0600am: She’s one centimeter.  Back to the house. By cab.
• 659 am: Is it time to go yet??????The day shift charge nurse came early. I give report and stay behind for an hour more charting on patients I watched, babies I did stuff on, more paper work due to the forceps delivery, the hemorrhage, the baby daddy……..
• 915am I am home. Where’s the bed???

And I’m in charge tonight ya’ll! Pray for me!!!