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stream of consciousness Sunday

Stream of Conciousness Sunday:The Love and Marriage Edition

#SOCsunday
 

 

 

Husbands. I am in constant awe and confusion of mine. He makes me so angry sometimes.   Yesterday, he stated that I had been mean to him.  That I talked to him like a child.  Worse than Pookah. Well.  He said he didn’t get any respect.  Before i thought ( and you do have to think before speaking when married) I said, well respect has to be earned.  Ding.  Wrong answer.  The look on his face told me so.  I was immediately sorry that I had but words to the feeling that has been engulfing me for the past few weeks.  I feel unwanted, used, a doormat, a maid, a cook.  Not a wife.  And this has nothing to do with sex.  I just don’t feel appreciated. I think it started with a simple trash can incident that I don’t have time to go into right now. He came out of his mouth wrong.  Disrespectful, like he was talking to a child.   Funny that he says the same thing about me.  I don’t think I treat him like a child.  I think I do respect him.  But he needs to do more to earn it.  He just walks around so entitled.  So, I work every day and you sit around and do nothing. So you only work 3 days a week and you get to send Pookah to daycare.  Whatever. No matter how many times I try to explain, he never gets what I do. He never gets that being a  mom, a wife and a nurse works night shift is hard.

 

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at allthingsfadra.com
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

  • Reply
    joonluv630
    July 31, 2011 at 8:37 am

    You should read “When Love Dies” by Judy Bodmer. It sounds harsh but I’m halfway thru and it’s helping our marriage without him even knowing that I’m reading something and using its suggestions! The author is a Christian also so it’s even better. It gives u steps on how to change ur behavior towards ur husband to get the love and treatment that u desire from him. You can buy it as an iBook for $9.99. Best investment ever, I promise!

    • Reply
      rosesdaughter
      July 31, 2011 at 11:12 am

      I downloaded the sample, will check it out! Thanks.

  • Reply
    Good Girl Gone Green
    July 31, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    I hope that you and your husband are able to work through you issues! I often feel unappreciated at home….hugs!

  • Reply
    Tracie
    July 31, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    This conversation has been bandied around my house more than once…and it always sucks.

    I hope y’all are able to find that middle ground of understanding, and responsibility, and respect, and appreciation. This marriage thing is hard working, and adding in kids, and a full time job (and the night shift!) and everything else just makes it more challenging.

  • Reply
    Audra
    July 31, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Sounds like a conversation we have here regularly! Marriage is tough! I know it sounds contrary to what SHOULD work, but it totally works for us and may for you as well – hey , it may at least be worth a shot.

    When we lock horns like that and both feel used and underappreciated, I’ve found that if I change and try to do better by him, he comes around – often much moreso than I had ever hoped. Not sayin’ that it sticks for good, but since we are both incredibly stubborn, it works so much better than holding out and waiting for the other to give in (because neither of us will)!

  • Reply
    Fadra
    August 1, 2011 at 10:16 am

    It’s a cliche but marriage is WORK. Sometimes we build up feelings of resentment and it’s hard to be the first one to take down the barriers (especially when we know we’re right).

    Don’t shoot me for saying this but sometimes coming out with an “I’m sorry” (even if you don’t feel this way) can soften him and maybe allow you to start a conversation about how you BOTH really feel. Getting it all out on the table is step 1. (Totally speaking from experience here)

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