Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Jealousy
This is just random writing at 4 am at work during some down time. I was on Facebook( yes, we can still get on here) and saw photos of two of my friends at the club. Both new moms. Babies 2 and 6 months old. And I was jealous.
A friend of mine just had a baby about 2 months ago. In these last two months, she has done more traveling than I’ve done in the last almost two years of my child’s life. She went to Miami when the baby was less than a month old( didn’t someone tell her you don’t take a newborn anywhere until it’s had its shots?). Then she flew to Cananda when the baby was barely a month old. Then she went to Ohio when the child was about a month and a half. She’s got one month left for maternity leave, who knows where she will go next. And the whole time, she’s loosing weight, she’s going to the club, she’s having fun. Wow. Im jealous. Kinda. I mean, I don’t get to do any of those things anymore. And her man(not her husband) doesn’t work. So it’s all HER money they are spending. Her limited funds. I’m not jealous of that situation, but I’m wondering how is she doing all of this? Is this just her way to show her man that she is still fun despite the fact that she had his baby? Or is she trying to prove something to herself? And the rapid weight loss? What is she taking? is she eating? Everytime I see her on Facebook, there is a drink in her hand. She really isn’t still breastfeeding. But the weight loss is astounding. Ok, this is getting really random. 5 minutes isn’t up yet? But anyway. I’m still kinda jealous that she has a life and I don’t. Where did I go wrong? Is it a matter of priorities or what? Just saying. I mean, I want to go out without Pookah every once and a while. Not every weekend like her, but every once and a while would be nice. I want to travel. I want to do things. I’m jealous, even though I know I shouldn’t be.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post at allthingsfadra.com.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
I totally feel you. I try not to be jealous, and as much as I love my little family, seeing other people’s lives displayed on facebook makes me crazy. That’s why I love twitter. I have more in common with friends on twitter than my real life facebook friends. SMH
I feel that way, more often than I want to. Especially when it seems that every other mother in the world has a super reliable babysitter on deck, and I don’t. I miss having grandmothers…
I just took my daughter on a mini-vacay to Atlantic City. I’m a single mom, and on one income (no other financial assistance), it is TOUGH to afford to get away. I was feeling jealous of all of the other families on their week and 2 week beach vacations, so I said, forget it…we’re going to go! I didn’t spend a lot, it was perfect for us, and now I can actually enjoy other folks’ vacation pictures! LOL!
I know this jealousy. I feel it often because it seems every other mother can do so much more than I can…
Oh, I don’t have a life either, if that makes you feel any better. That’s a lot of traveling that your friend is doing considering she has a two month old. Maybe you could talk to her and figure out what’s going on. I find that when someone in my life is behaving seemingly erratically, it’s because something else is bothering them, something that I only learn about after the dust settles.
I feel you it’s hard not to feel a little envious. I so wanted to go to the blogalicious thing Friday and I had a babysitter but I did not have any clothes to wear because well I don’t go anywhere so I have nothing. It’s hard to not have a babysitter on deck just to go out and enjoy a nice lunch with a friend. I have not traveled since I had my daughter which was 2 years ago. I miss going places and doing things I pray one day I will get there.
I understand how you feel even though I don’t have children. I often wonder to myself how women who don’t work are able to vacation or walk around in the latest christian loubie’s or with the latest louie V bag – mean while I’m going to work everyday, saving my money and don’t have an excess of material things.
I wrote my 5 min random post – check it out here at http://www.rosefromrosedale.com
Jealousy is so hard..especially when you realize there is really nothing to be jealous about. Yes…we all want changes but do you REALLY want to be clubbing, traveling, etc with a baby? Odds are…maybe once and then you are over it. I like going out and being with people…but that can be having breakfast with good friends…it doesn’t have to be a club. Matter of fact, I prefer that.
I dont go clubbing now that I have a baby. I am nursing so well, it is kind of hard to drink and go to a club witha a bay attached to your boob.
But we have travelled lots with my now 10 month old baby girl. We have visited Boston, NY, Philly , Atlantic City, we actually drove from Wichita,KS to PA when she was 3 weeks old to move, we have driven back and forth from PA to Montreal, Quebec numerous times (Thats home) and visited some same little places in PA. We are just trying to see as much of the USA as we can while we are living here! And all this without a single shot, and she has never been sick (that of course is our choice and would never think differently of someone who chooses to give shots…).
With that said, dont be jealous; she is probably jealous of you because you have it all together and don’t spend all your money on alcohol and clubbing! 🙂
thanks for stopping by!
I think some jealousy is absolutely natural and understandable. The thing is to not let it take over all your thoughts as well of your loving thoughts toward your friend if you want to keep the friendship alive.
Maybe she just wants to show off her new baby?
Who knows what motivates people.
I never used to travel much until two years ago and now, my kids are seasoned travelers. Mind you, they are a lot older than this baby, but I have found my children LOVE to travel and teaching them how to be good guests… patient and well-mannered… helps.
I received some really good advice from a friend about this same kind of thing: Don’t judge your insides by someone else’s outsides. I struggle with these same kind of feelings, too.
and I hate to struggle with jealousy of my own friends!!
I know how you feel. I’ve felt that same pang of jealousy looking at others doing what I wish I could and can’t seem to find the means. I have one friend that never seems to have a job, but he’s constantly going to Germany, Egypt, Scotland and Ireland, England…..his family pays for everything even though he’s an adult. I don’t want to be bitter, but I can’t help but think, “It must be nice”.
I used to be jealous of others until I realized things aren’t always what they seem. I then focused on my life and doing what we needed to do to live the life we wanted. At that point things got better. I get out, but it wasn’t always like that. I had to put my foot down in my marriage and say what I expected and let him know if he couldn’t get with it then hit it. It has all worked out. Things take time. Good luck!
Visiting from lady bloggers society. love ur blog!
Ole girl is doing too much, lol!
I feel you on wanting to go out more, do more. Byron and I used to go to the movies, out to dinner, just out and about all the time. But once you have a child, it’s not that easy to get up and go, especially if you don’t have really close friends or family nearby that can care for your kids for you. *sigh* I dont have any suggestions, lol, but i can offer solidarity!
Well, everyone has different circumstances of course. My thing is this: I know of her circumstances because she tells me. Constantly complaining. I’m not jealous of her situation. I would just like to get out sometimes. Everyone has a different set of priorities and circumstances. Not ALL of my friends are like this. Some are struggling with the same thoughts/circumstances as me. Mine just happens to be I want more of a social life and have no one to watch Pookah. that is what life has dealt me for now and I don’t regret it. I don’t have family here or really close friends who I could trust to watch him( the ones I do want to go out too) Yes life is what you make it. I put this out there because it was just a momentary “stream of consciousness” but didn’t want to be bashed for my thoughts or feelings. Now, i appreciate your opinion, but until you’ve walked in my shoes…..
Mommy guilt is the true cause of my problems!!
It’s totally okay to be jealous and good for you for admitting it. Just don’t let it eat you up. One thing I’ve learned is that there is a story behind EVERYONE’S story. I once had a friend that took her 1 1/2 week old to the beach. REALLY?? Turns out she ended up having to stay in the hotel room the whole time. Wow. Who’s surprised?
Also, I stayed totally grounded for 2 years. I couldn’t deal with the travel. I sort of regret it but we’re making up for lost time now.