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Stressed

I’m tired folks.

Pookah has been having a bad couple of nights.  Not sleeping well at all.  Waking up every night and refusing to go back to sleep unless he is in our bed and up under one of us.  This woulnd’t be much of a problem if he didn’t sleep so wild.  I don’t think he gets much sleep either, but he perks up and keeps it moving.

On the other hand, his parents are at their wits ends.

C-Dub in particular is loosing it.  Tuesday night before I left for work, I got snapped at for no apparent reason.  Which now that I think on it, has become a regular occurrence around here.  On my way out of the door, I did point out that I didn’t feel like I was being treated kindly.  That lead to a phone call on the way to work in which he expressed his frustration with my schedule and his inability to have time for himself.

*crickets*

To be fair to him, I have asked him to give up every weekend for the past nine months. And he has done it.  But it’s wearing on him not being able to do anything together or just on his own.  He feels like he works five days a week and never gets his “break” because he is keeping Pookah.  We all need downtime for our mental and physical well being.  That’s one of the reasons Pookah now goes to daycare full time.  I think it was OK with him as long it looked like both of us were sharing the load.  But now, at least to him, he feels like the load is uneven because he doesn’t get any time off.  And I do.  Every Thursday and Friday I basically have the whole day to myself.  Even if I do use those days to clean, shop for the house, pay bills and make sure his life runs smoothly. *side eye*

But a friend of mine put it to me in a way where I can admit I can see his point.

On the other hand, he wants me to change my schedule NOW.  I’ve explained to him, that I can request a day shift position, but that there’s just not one available for me right now.  He also wants me to come off of weekends as soon as possible.  This means waaaaaaay less money and it will crowd my weekdays so much trying to fit in those three night shifts Monday through Friday.  With an occasional weekend shift.

But, what’s more important? Money or marriage? I mean it’s supposed to be 50/50.  And I guess he feels like it’s 60/40.  But that’s how I’ve felt for the last 21 months.  But I just kept soldiering on, trying to make it work for all us.

Did it ever occur to him, that I don’t particularly like giving up my EVERY weekend? I miss parties, time with the two of them( does anyone remember this?) Mother’s day, Father’s day….But I kept it moving because it’s what we needed at the time. It worked for his schedule.  He always said he couldn’t leave work early 3 days a week so that I could work nights during the week. So me working weekends worked.  But now….

So I’ve been a little stressed out.  C-Dub and I are always bickering, Pookah is transitioning to a new daycare and into his terrible twos, I need new tires, we need a new couch NOW( the current one is just falling apart before my eyes), we need to either rip up the carpet or get new carpet or get new flooring because it just looks bad, and it’s about 7 years old AND I’m going to have to redo the whole budget to accommodate the loss of income.  Sigh.

And now I’m even looking for other job options because I don’t know how much longer we all can go without C-Dub loosing it.

Sigh.

Just when things start looking up……..

 

  • Reply
    keyalus
    September 16, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    You are my husband in terms of schedule and I’m the CDub. He always has to work Saturday and probably gets a Sunday off every 3 weeks. He often works evenings during the week too so I feel like I do the majority of the active childcare work with NO time to myself. Sure he handles “night duty” but a toddler doesn’t often require nighttime intervention so that is the “easy” shift compared to my post-work duties. He at least gets the random Tues/Wed off so he has days where he is all alone all day with no childcare duties. I don’t get that often and I resent it. I know exactly where he’s coming from in this respect and it really sucks.

    At least in your case, you are the female and take on most of the household duties. On his days off, you better believe The Mister isn’t washing dishes or cleaning up or doing much of anything to better our household – sigh.

    OK – I’m totally ranting in your comments LOL. Just wanted to let you know that I can relate to your dilemma even if I’m the opposite party. I do realize there is nothing he can do about it short of quitting (not an option). But I wish he would do more (without my nagging) around the house to make my life easier or just acknowledge that it isn’t 50/50 – it is 70/30. And I do realize from his side that he would rather be spending time with us instead of missing out. I guess things will work themselves out in time.
    keyalus recently posted..Three Things ThursdayMy Profile

  • Reply
    kita
    September 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    It’s hard. My hubs is gone Tuesday – Friday all day. That means I have to do cooking, cleaning, my homework, help with sons homework, football practice, drop son off at school/pick him up from school, and getting kids bathed and ready for the next day. He is in school and he only has Sundays off. Sunday mornings he usually gives me a couple hours of a break so that I can be sane. Other than that I do it all. I don’t complain as much because I am home but dealing with everything by yourself can take a toll especially with a grandmother/family that lives practically 20 min away (we will save that story for another time)

    Stress is not the world when having to work on the weekends. The only suggestion I can offer is to maybe see if you can work as an in home nurse or be a teacher. It’s hard out here in this economy and I notice nursing jobs are dwindling I don’t see as many open positions as I once did. I know the feeling of needing new tires. I bought one the other day for the first time in 3 years ( I have been getting used tires but thought I would at least buy 2 new ones every check) and I have come to the conclusion that I have to continue to buy used tires I just don’t have 300 dollars to buy new ones at this time. Luckily my hubs uncle whom I love (he just drinks a lot) is helping us rip up our carpet within the next month and helping us buy laminate for the flooring. That will be the only thing we do to this house until we get some money. It’s sad we are paying a mortgage and can’t live in comfort because of no money.

    Try not to stress out I know it’s easier said than done.
    kita recently posted..Tune up ThursdayMy Profile

  • Reply
    MrsTDJ
    September 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    I feel your pain sis! Sorry that you and CDub are in this place. (((Hugs)))
    MrsTDJ recently posted..Deep in the GutterMy Profile

  • Reply
    Preshus Me
    September 16, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    And he wants to add another baby to the mix?!?!!
    Preshus Me recently posted..Virus be gone!My Profile

  • Reply
    Martina
    September 16, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    I feel you!!!! I’m going through the same thing…. I’m beyond stressed and I’m 34 weeks Pregnant…. I pray that God strengthens you through all that’s going on around you and that you will find peace on today.

  • Reply
    TheProDiva
    September 17, 2011 at 9:38 am

    I feel you and CDub’s pain. You are actually caught between a rock and a hard place. I think the best thing for you both to do is vent out your frustrations, and then sit down and discuss a solution while taking all things into account. Also, make sure you two find some time to be together…I know its hard, but it may help a little. I’ll pray for you guys, and I’m sure you can work it out! Keep your head up and go have a martini 🙂

    Love the new character in the header! New hair do!
    TheProDiva recently posted..Getting Through Friday…The Challenge!My Profile

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