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stream of consciousness Sunday

Husband Vs Hobbies


When do hobbies interfere with a marriage? C-Dub and I had a major discussion on Saturday….

So, I’m really having a problem with C-Dub and my hobbies.  namely, my blogging and my new found photography interests.  And to some extent, my reading hobby.  It all started today when he accused me of spending too much money on a new camera.  i was just thinking, what if I had gotten the camera that I really want?  But as it is, I spent much less than I could have trying to be economical.  But he couldn’t recognize that.  all he knew was that I has another amera when we already had two.  Two point and shoots.  Granted, I did buy a supped up point and shoot, but still, it was a major upgrade.  But anyway, whenever i mention going to a blog conference, he wants to know how much it costs?  Its always about how much it costs.  But when it comes to his interests who cares? This has been bothering me for a while really, but I haven’t said anything.  But it came to a head today because I felt like he went out of his way to criticize.  And my state of mind was not prepared to let it roll off of my shoulders.  I usually can do this, but I was so hurt that he didn’t understand.  So hurt that he would accuse me of basically taking needed money from the kitty and spending it recklessly.  First of all, it was my money to spend.  he accused me of spending money left and right, but really I haven’t  I did rejoin bootcamp, and I joined Massage Envy’s club where you get a massage every month for a memebership fee( that’s under $100 by the way.)  And all of this is coming from MY extra money.  So what is the problem? As CFO of the family, I say we can afford it, or rather I can.  I’m not feeling him policing my money.  That wasn’t part of the marital agreement.  I don’t police his.  I don’t as him how much he spend on golf or the yard or his car or anything else.  Why? Because its his money! But I think the whole problem is he’s jealous.  I was about to rip him a new one when it seemed like the light bulb went off and he realized he was treading on shallow water.  But now I feel like I gotta doe everything hobby related before he gets home.  So it can be all about him him him….

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.

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  • Reply
    June 12, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Don’t do that. You have a right to spend time doing what you enjoy. Does he only go golfing when you’re at work?maybe you guys can designate a couple of days a week that you each have to spend as you wish, without feeling guilty of interfering with couple time?
    Christina recently posted..Not the Man That I MarriedMy Profile

  • Reply
    June 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    We usually have enough to pay bills. If there isn’t enough, I ask fir xtra from him or get it from myself. I don’t buy things unless bills are paid and I’ve got gas money. Him either. Whichbis why I don’t understand.

    • Reply
      June 12, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      Do you guys have a written budget? As in – you get so much money to *blow* as you wish and he gets the same?

      That is how we do it to avoid this frustration. I get 250, and he gets 250 (cash). E spends his mostly on eating out because he doesn’t feel like making food at home. I spend most mine on crafts. 😉
      Ayana recently posted..Cowrie Shell Hair ClipsMy Profile

      • Reply
        June 13, 2011 at 9:15 am

        we have a certain amount( percentages based on how much we each make) that goes into our joint accounts every pay period. What we do with what’s left over is up to us unless we are saving for something big like a trip or furniture or something like that.

  • Reply
    June 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    I know right! I think it has more to do with me not spending time with him than anything else. Or he just sees my stuff as a waste of time.

  • Reply
    June 12, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    We have *personal spending* money for just this very reason. But, it would totally annoy me if E even IMPLIED that I was *wasting* my spending money. So we would have to talk about it – and talk about it – and talk about it – until it is drilled in his head that this is important to me. So next time the thought even pops in his mind to be annoyed about me spending money on it – he will quickly correct himself.

    It is a lot of work – and seemingly unnecessary work. But that is what marriage is all about right? Communication. Sometimes seemingly unnecessary communication.
    Ayana recently posted..Cowrie Shell Hair ClipsMy Profile

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