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Mommytruths: Am I Expecting too Little From My Toddler?


It’s summer time….

And we were outdoors as usual this weekend.

That is, after I woke up from the the stupor I was in from working so hard last week.  I had to work Friday night and Sunday night too, so I just had to squeeze in what I could in between work and sleep.

But Pookah makes it alright. He is the light of my life right now, even when he is acting like a defiant two year old. His first week with the new teacher (who we will call Ms. P) was OK. He survived. Even though I did have a couple of issues.

First, they told me to stop carrying Pookah into school.  Well,

  • A: He’s almost too big to do that anyway
  • B: We only do it occasionally when I’m in a hurry or he is feeling needy. And
  • C: He’s my child and if I want to carry him when he’s six I will.

And my other problem is this:

There seems to be this whole movement in childcare to get these children as independent as possible as soon as possible.  They want your child to be able to basically do everything for themselves NOW.  Pookah can do most things I think that he should be able to do.  He can take off his clothes, pull his pants up and down, and feed himself.  I thought that was enough for now.  Now, this whole summer for instance, is focused on potty taining. Now, I agree that the potty training needs to commense NOW. BUT, not at the expense of playing, learing and being a two year old.  I happened to drop by unexpectedly on Friday to drop something off. Pookah and his classmates were just sitting at tables waiting for their turn to go pee.  She takes each one every 20 minutes over and over all day long.

Sooooooo…..when do they play? Do they go outside? Is this why when Pookah came home from school last week, he constantly wanted to “play”? Why he had an ENORMOUS amount of energy???

I don’t know if that is going to work for me.

I mean, aren’t two year olds SUPPOSED to play? Am I missing something important here?

It’s something I’ve got to think on.

Yes, I’m delighted that my child knows his ABC’s and can count to 20.  I’m delighted that he can say the pledge of allegiance and knows his shapes and some colors. And yes, I’m VERY  happy that he can sit still for an extended period of time.

But he’s two. Am I wrong to be concerned that suddenly daycare has become school?

Are they expecting too much of my child? Or am I expecting too little?


I guess I just want him to be able to be a child for as long as possible. I know he is growing up, but still.  What do you guys think? Am I overthinking this or am I right to be concerned?

What would you do?



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  • Reply
    June 4, 2012 at 9:47 am

    *sigh* Pookah knows his colors and shapes I need him to teach my 3 year old. She refuses to learn or at least she pretends to not know. I think 2 is still a baby and I will baby them while I can with restrictions. They grow to fast to not baby them once in a while. When they get to be about 5 they won’t want you to touch them so I baby mines.
    Kita recently posted..Kita’s Chronicles: Convo with the kidsMy Profile

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Correction: he knows MOST of his colors and SOME shapes…. When he’s in the mood. 🙂

  • Reply
    June 4, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    You are NOT over reacting. Heck, even PREschool has become school! They have so many years of school ahead of them, that I don’t think it’s necessary at such an early age to be sitting at a desk all day. I don’t even believe there’s a study that proves such early schooling makes a long-term difference in their learning. My daughter just turned five and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. She’s an intelligent little girl with a lot of life and creativity and is someone who LOVES to PLAY. I was lucky that I didn’t have to put her into daycare or even preschool. I just hope that she doesn’t lose her spirit and creativity when academia takes over.
    Nadja recently posted..Sometimes I forgetMy Profile

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

      I know! I keep thinking that they should be PLAYING at this stage!

  • Reply
    June 4, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    I guess I’m gonna be the odd WOman out on this one. I think if it’s potty training season and that’s how his teacher wants to go about it and you don’t have all the time you’d like to get that going then what she’s doing is fine. I’m sure they get out to play and what not. I’m sure all the kids still have time to be kids. I don’t think any of that is a huge deal. I think that if within the next couple of months your child is fully potty trained it will have all been worth it. Jas was trained kind of the same way. Her teacher would take her to the potty every 30 mins to let her potty and it worked out well. Within 4 weeks she was fully trained and while I helped, I know she was instrumental in Jas’s potty success.

    Now they can’t tell you not to carry him. I still carry Jas into daycare some days. And i wish someone would tell me not to!

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

      I’m hoping that he’s potty trained soon because he is NOT a happy camper!

  • Reply
    June 4, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    You’re not overreacting. He’ll learn things at his own pace and with you as his awesome mom. Have a great summer playing!!
    Lydia recently posted..Mamavation Monday #4My Profile

  • Reply
    Sarah M.
    June 4, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    Our daycare told us that GA law is that kids get at least a certain amount of time outside each day, I think it was 1.5 hrs outside total, if they are in full time daycare…I might ask what the day is looking like now that they are potty training.
    Sarah M. recently posted..bossy 2 year old is bossyMy Profile

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

      Yes, it is the law! I checked on it too!

  • Reply
    June 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    You aren’t overreacting at all. He will learn at his pace.

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

      And now he’s reverting! Refusing to go at all! *cries*

  • Reply
    June 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    Of course you’re not overreacting. You’re being a loving mama. I think also the teacher is just trying to help the parents with potty training which is a plus in my opinion. I agree with Sarah, ask what the outdoor activity times are.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha recently posted..Glowing Skin Plus Down 7 PoundsMy Profile

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 8:00 pm

      I know she’s trying to help, I just don’t think I like her way of going about it!

  • Reply
    June 6, 2012 at 10:03 am

    No, I don’t think you’re over reacting. He’s only two, I think they are asking for too much too soon. But that’s me. I think at this age, it’s great that he can count and know his colors and shapes, but a child needs to play. He’ll have plenty of time to sit in school. What happened to preschool these days?
    KalleyC recently posted..Jello For Legs?My Profile

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 7:57 pm

      I keep asking everyone: shouldn’t two year olds be playing???? Don’t they learn by play at this age????

  • Reply
    June 6, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    So I’m going to speak from the stand point of a childcare teacher, but not the one who thinks like the one your child has.

    For me as a childcare teacher that would be a red flag:

    1. forcing children to sit and “wait” to all go potty seems just idiotic and more than a 2 year olds focus can handle (typically a 2 year olds focus is at max 2 minutes)

    2. That seems extreme, yes having a certain time to all go potty is fine. But making each one wait at a table is above and beyond what I would ever do. She can switch it around where she lets the kiddos play and call them back to the bathroom one at a time (or however many can fit in the open potty stalls).

    I agree with the other mommies, it’s your child and you can hold/carry him/her in as long as you want. I can however see what they are getting at, but again this is a 2 year old not a 4 year old.

    I would be on guard if the center is not a playbased center. Studies have shown that play is the best way to learn. You might think they are just playing in water but they are learning about so much when it comes to water.

    I am SUPER picky when it comes to the center’s my children go to, if I would never work there my kiddos would never go there. I have had bad experiences where I have walked into my sons room at school and seen a teacher holding him by his arms at her eye level, shaking him because he was upset and crying (mind you he was not even 2 years old yet). And the last I checked kids crying because they are upset is normal.

    I don’t want to alarm you I just know if it’s not the best my kiddos will never step foot in the place. But that’s just me and I know what to look for in a center because I am an Early Childhood Teacher and I will pay to send them to a good preschool that truly understands children and how they learn…

    Sorry for the mini book 🙂

    • Reply
      June 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm

      I don’t mind the mini book!! Thank you do much for your advice! I am thinking along the same lines, just trying to decide what exactly to do about it.

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