This is my question. After all the trouble I went through:filling our transcript request forms, getting transcripts, filling out paperwork for financial aid, working myself up into a tizzy about actually GOING to grad school this fall, I let the deadline pass. Or so I thought. The day after the July 1st deadline, I got an email from my advisor stating that I had 3 more weeks. Hmmm. I am teetering on the edge. Should I or shouldn’t I? I’m tired of my current state of work. I can’t do night shift or even shift work for the rest of my life. I just can’t. But I really don’t want to go back to school for two years either. Just to do more nursing. Even if it is mainly office work. Because, I took a good long look at myself and decided that even though I want to, really want to , I can’t be a midwife. I can’t do the lifestyle. I can’t do it. My husband is tired of me working nights now. He is tired of his wife being away from him 3 nights a week. Yeah, it may be less when I’m a midwife, or it may be more? And I do have to not just think about myself, but my baby too. I don’t want to miss games and programs and special moments because I am working at night. Or on call on the weekend and can’t leave the hospital. I love delivering babies. And maybe I will work as a L&D nurse every once and a while, but I don’t think that I could be a midwife. For now. So that just leaves a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner. Which seems…boring to me. But maybe it worn’t be? It would give me more options. But do I want options? Why not just stick with what I know? Why not just deliver babies? Because delivering someone else’s children is really a self less job. It’s a job for someone who has a lot to give to other people. It is rewarding. But I would rather give that time to my own family and my own baby. is that wrong? Should I follow my “dream” or should I do what’s best for my family?
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts
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