On Two Pieces

It’s that time of year folks.

It’s bathing suit season.

( the screams the agony, the horror!)

So, since I am going on a beach vacation in a short 12 days, I have been looking for a nice bathing suit/two piece to go with me on this vacation.

The search is not going well.

First of all, who makes these things? It’s like the stores assume that no one half way cute would want to even wear a two piece.  Either the pattern is wack( flowers, flowers and more flowers?) or it is so ill fitting that you look like a sausage.

And I don’t like ruffles.

Or skirts….

Or Spanx bathing suits( you can’t breathe.  you look decent, but you can’t breathe…..)

Le Sigh.

I’ve tried Target, Walmart, Old Navy, Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx….

I really just want a black one piece so I can call it a day.

But nooooo.

And the mirrors in these places just make you look….fat.

Yes, fat.

I’ve lost a total of 12 pounds.  In clothes, I look good.

In a two piece I look like a should keep on my t-shirt and shoot anyone who tries to lift a corner.

I’m so disgusted.

Sheesh.

I hate bathing suit season.

I just want to go back to this…

Before Pookah.....

But I’ve still got a looooooog way to go………