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Through the Fire

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This morning,at 130 in the morning of course, CDub and I had one of THOSE conversations.

You know, those really important conversations that you have with your mate when both of you are beyond frustrated with each other and you are just unable to go another second without almost cursing each other out?

Yeah. We had one of those.

I admit that in the last 8 years of our marriage, I’ve done a lot of growing. A lot. You see, the old, younger version of myself would have happily have cursed him out and rolled over all of his objections and thoughts and bended him to my will.

But I’ve matured.

Unfortunately, he has too. So he’s not so bendable anymore. CDub actually has the patience of a saint. He will take it and take it and take it and then…..he blows!!!

And i know this,and  I take advantage of it I’m sure.

All of this to say that last night, at 130 in the morning, we had our talk.

And I think for the first time in our marriage, it was a mature talk where we both talked and we both HEARD what the other had to say.

Progress.

I think because CDub didn’t grow up seeing a stable continuous, it doesn’t always work but we make it work marriage, that he is easily frustrated and defeated when things don’t go the way they should. Or when I don’t agree.  But since I come from that stock, it doesn’t faze me really when we agree or disagree or come to an impasse. Because that’s marriage. You come to a problem, work through it and move on.

Now, I had to arrive at this place by fire. As anyone who has been reading my blog for a long while knows.

But it’s a happy place. Strange but happy. You see, I’m not afraid of the fire. And I think that finally, after 8 looooong years, he isn’t either.

 

  • Reply
    Candace (NYStateofMom)
    July 3, 2013 at 9:24 am

    I can’t begin to tell you how much I LOVE this post! THANK YOU! This proves that even if it starts off w a lil rough patches smooth sailing and Happily Ever After is still very POSSIBLE!! I’m happy you guys are happy #TeamPookahsParents

  • Reply
    KalleyC
    July 3, 2013 at 9:24 am

    I think every marriage has one of THOSE conversations. But like you said, when both sides are mature, and really listen, then it could be a wonderful opportunity for both parties to grow in their marriage and to grow with each other.
    KalleyC recently posted..Independence DayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jenni
    July 3, 2013 at 11:37 am

    Been there, in those unable to can moments.* There’s only so many days of mumbling under your breathe or slamming things for no good reason you can take before those fore day in the morning, come to Jesus talks happen.

    We’re still working over here, adjusting attitudes, being open to the other person’s point of view, learning when to shut up and when to speak up.

    I’m glad the journey of marriage is getting easier for the two of you.
    Jenni recently posted..Balloons and BugsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kita
    July 3, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    *through the fire* *singing*
    Marriage is hard and after being married for 8 yrs I am tired. We have a communication problem that is getting worse as we get older. We have now started texting each other because he will say I didn’t say something when I know I did and I say the same thing about him. We feel that if things are written down no one can say what the other didn’t say. So we don’t get to have those talks anymore because we don’t know how. I am happy that you all had your talk and hope one day we can get there.
    Kita recently posted..Pinteresting WednesdayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Krissy
    July 3, 2013 at 3:24 pm

    well amen to growth! I think Marriage is something people should fight for and it looks like you guys do too
    Krissy recently posted..Wordless Wednesday :snap backsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Christina
    July 3, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Girl, I know all about “those” talks. So hard, but so very necessary. It’s good to hear that you guys were able to “see” each other and happily move forward from whatever the issues were. I love this!
    Christina recently posted..RandomsMy Profile

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