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Keeping it Real: Married folks need alone time too


CDub and I have not been on vacation ALONE, without Pookah…since he was born.  Pookah will be 7 next month.

Let that marinate for a bit….

Oh there was that one time earlier this year when we got to spend the night at a hotel…alone..but other than that? NOTHING.

We’ve been on date night over the years..( and honestly, not often enough), but we haven’t really been away…alone…in SEVEN LONG YEARS.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we love our boy. We love traveling together as a family. We are the 3 musketeers.



But since I keep it all the way real around here,  I’m going to admit Mommy and Daddy need a break.  Mommy and Daddy need to be alone..Mommy and Daddy need to be able to hang from chandeliers if we want to. ( tmi I know!)

We need US time.

That’s why I was THRILLED to receive an invitation this year to the SocialMedia on the Sand Conference At Beaches in Negril Jamaica. 


Now, I  admit that my first thought was that Pookah would have SO MUCH FUN!I was in love with the idea of the kids club and baby sitting services which meant that we would be able to vacation together as a family but spend time alone as a couple as needed.  But then I wrestled with the fact that he is in school and that he was struggling a bit with the transition into 2nd grade, I just couldn’t justify taking him out of school. And I thought we would have to decline.

But then, CDub said those fateful words: leave him.

I felt..guilty…like I was an awful parent for not letting my child have this awesome experience.

But as I’ve been reminded a lot lately, when your children are grown up and leave the nest, it’s just going to be you and your husband.

I want to still know him, still like him, still understand him. We’ve been married for 11 years and 7 of those years, we have been parents. We are hands on parents who honestly love spending time with our child and taking him on vacation.

But we decided, just this once, to be a little selfish and have time just for us.

I’m nervous.

I’m excited.

I’m nervous.

My mother has arrived and she and Pookah are excited to have each other all to themselves next week while we are gone.

And we are excited to be alone….Here….

Photo Credit:

Photo Credit:

So this weekend, I’ll be spending my time packing and in a flurry of preparations.

I can’t wait!!!

Have you vacationed without your kids?

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  • Reply
    October 21, 2016 at 9:00 am

    Negril is NOT for kids! You and CDub deserve to be in paradise as Mr & Mrs. I promise you great baby #2 practice once you have belly full of mangoes and jerk looking at Negril’s sunset. ENJOY them chandeliers 😉

  • Reply
    October 21, 2016 at 9:51 am

    We have vacationed without our kids a few times but not nearly enough. The logistics of childcare are now a little easier they are older. Glad to now have retired grandparents who are close by that can stand in. Hopefully we can get away more now. Have fun!

  • Reply
    October 21, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Have a great time! Have a great time! Have a great time!

    Pooka will be alright.

  • Reply
    Alli Smith
    October 21, 2016 at 11:34 am

    My kids have all flown the nest and we do vacations each year with them and without. Most of our annual Caribbean vacations are without. We did take the grandkids once. I remember when the kids were young and leaving them with my mom for a week and I was so nervous. You’ll do fine and have a great time! Can I stow away in your luggage? 🙂

  • Reply
    Jacqui @FlightsFancyMom
    October 21, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Never feel guilty! Having time with your SO is very important. You want to make sure you know who you’re growing old with and remember, your child will be leaving when they’re older. Putting yourselves first every once in awhile is not a bad thing :).

  • Reply
    Rebecca Swenor
    October 21, 2016 at 6:51 pm

    Married couples do need time alone and this looks like a great vacation for you both. Jamaica is on my bucket list for sure. I have to admit that we never did go on vacation without the kids. Congrats on you couples vacation.

  • Reply
    October 21, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    Have fun! Taking a trip without the kids is necessary every so often. Have fun spending time with you husband!

  • Reply
    October 21, 2016 at 9:14 pm

    I havent really had alone time with my husband since my daughters been born (1.5 years). Not quite as long, but its definitely important to have alone time to keep that spark.

  • Reply
    Kathleen Kennedy-Leon
    October 21, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    I totally agree–ADULT ONLY and couples time is soooo important to have. We love our kids to the moon and back-but we need our time too

  • Reply
    October 22, 2016 at 12:14 am

    That will be so much fun and very well deserved! We love our kids but there is nothing wrong with taking time to recharge and appreciate your partner.

  • Reply
    October 22, 2016 at 8:35 am

    Even though it’s a kid friendly resort, that’s where I stayed on my vacation to Negril and I don’t have a kid!

    I listened to an interview with Cookie Johnson on the radio and she mentioned that she and Magic take a vacation, every year, just the 2 of them and of course date night once a week. Just do what you can, when you can, married couples need it!

  • Reply
    October 22, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    This is good for ALL of you including your son and your mom. It’s not only good for you as a wife, it’s also good for you as a parent. You’re not meant to do this alone. You need to flex that “trust muscle” which allows you to have faith in other carefully chosen members of the village who are ready, willing, and able to nurture and invest in your child. Have a great trip!

    My story: I’ve been married for 21 years. In 2008 we got sole custody of my niece. She was 11 and when she came to live with us and due to the extremely unstable situation she was coming from, I was VERY concerned about every detail of her well-being and her development. I admit, I become something of a control freak about her schedule, her diet, her school work, her social life and activities, etc. I just love her so much and I wanted to make sure she was going to recover from what she’d been through. My husband loves her dearly and was excited about the adventure and challenge of parenting. And… he made it clear that he still wanted and needed to have that sexy, fun, care-free, playful, and chill wife all to himself sometimes. So, even though we didn’t have much family in the area, I figured out how to build a trustworthy village and I teamed up with the parents of her friends and made sure that she was all squared away so that “Auntie and Uncle John” could periodically get some time alone. It worked out well for all of us. She’s 19 now and we’ve got our empty nest again. Raising a teenager was TOUGH, but hubby and I never lost touch with each other because we made sure our marriage remained a priority too.

  • Reply
    October 22, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    This is fantastic! I loved reading it and I do think all married people need time away from it all together.

  • Reply
    October 22, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    Yay y’all have a blast! I would love to vacation alone with no kids. Finding someone you can trust to keep them is the real issue!

  • Reply
    Nancy @ whispered inspirations
    October 23, 2016 at 11:29 am

    I agree married folks do need alone time! My hubby and I getaway when we can. It’s a great way to spend time and connect with each other again. Life with kids can get crazy sometimes.

  • Reply
    October 23, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    I think you will have an amazing vacation alone!! I can’t wait to hear all about it!!

  • Reply
    Christina Aliperti
    October 23, 2016 at 6:06 pm

    Time as a couple without kids is very important. It’s what keeps the romance alive.

  • Reply
    Amanda Love
    October 24, 2016 at 9:26 am

    This is important. Married couples with kids tend to forget about getting some alone time for themselves. That’s exactly how you keep the fire burning and it’s good to be able to spend time together without the kids to worry about. I think it’s awesome that you got to go to such a wonderful place as well!

  • Reply
    September 13, 2017 at 11:28 am

    Thus is so real. My son will be five this year and we are in the same boat. We had one already but it’s easy to get a sitter for one. And then we had him and he didn’t sleep so we felt guilty leaving someone with that. A big ball of sleepy exhaustion. And then my nephew came to live with us and we were three kids deep and have felt kinda stuck. That time is needed.

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