Letters to My Son: You Gave Yourself the EpiPen

Dear Pookah, 

On Friday, you had to give yourself the EpiPen.

While I hate that it had to happen, I’m thankful that after all of our practice, you knew what to do. 

You ate a piece of candy from your friend at the school dance and it had something in it that you are allergic to. 

It was a lesson. A lesson that A: never take random candy from friends.

And B: ALWAYS READ THE LABELS.

I am thankful that you thought to call me and tell me that you didn’t feel right.

And I am thankful that it seems like your allergy is actually getting better because it was a full 5 hours before you got the epi pen and YOU SURVIVED.

But I am mad that no one seemed to notice that you were wheezing and having trouble breathing. ( Will be speaking to your teacher about it this week).

It was the first time that you had ever given yourself the EpiPen instead of me doing it, and even though you cried and held on to me, you did it.

I cried too. 

It took everything in me to be calm and let YOU do it, but I recognized the fact that you are growing up and that you have to start taking responsibility for your health.

YOU did it.

I am, as always, so proud of you.

I know you always hate the fact that you are different. And I hate the fact that every moment that you are away from me, I worry. I worry about things like this happening.

But you are ok.

By the grace of God, you are ok.

And now you know.

You learned a valuable lesson last week.  One that I knew it was bound to happen, and I’m grateful that it happened in a controlled situation. 

Hopefully, it won’t happen again.

But now you know that you can do it. 

Again, I’m proud of you and I love you.

Love Mama